The Singles Scene
by Sarah Smart
Q. I’m set to marry next month, and I’ve changed my mind. There is no one I can talk to about this, and I don’t know what to do. I realize now that I’m really not in love, and I don’t want to break my fiancé’s heart. She has waited for me a long time, but I can’t go through with the wedding. I’ve been thinking about just not showing up at the altar because I can’t bear to tell her. Got any suggestions?
A. Either way, you’re going to break her heart. Therefore, you have to consider which way is the less hurtful. A no-show at the altar is hurtful, embarrassing, confusing and misleading. No communication leaves room for wild speculation. If you tell her before the wedding, you spare her the undue anguish of standing at the altar alone waiting on you, on what she hopes to be the best day of her life.
Q. A close friend has been dating a guy for about six months that I am extremely attracted to and it’s driving me crazy. I met him last month for the first time and it was instant fire between us. Our eyes lingered on each other the entire evening like a magnet. The next day I ran into him at the bank and he invited me for coffee and I went. I went out with him accompanied by all the guilt feelings in the world, because I truly love my friend. But this man is truly something and I don’t know what to do. He’s asked to see me again and I find him irresistible. My friend really thinks she’s in love and I cannot continue to listen to her talk of him and date him on the sly. What should I do? It’s been a long time since I felt like this about anybody.
A. The answer is simple. You have a choice. Decide which person is the most important to you. The unscrupulous character with the piercing eyes or the friend who you claim you love. Then go with that person. One of the most important things in life is to be able to live with one’s self. Nothing can browbeat you more than your own conscience. The real question is, which one can you do without?
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