The Singles Scene
by Sarah Smart
Q. My close friend has been crazy in love for the past four months with a guy she talked about constantly. She had never mentioned his full name and I didn’t ask. Therefore, when we met up at a restaurant recently, I was shocked to see that he was the same guy I dated four years ago. Unfortunately, he was an experience I would never forget. He had a split personality, where he could be charming and sweet one minute and violent the next. The problem is, I don’t know if I should tell my friend about my former affiliation with him and his quirky personality. I don’t think it’ll make a difference and it may affect our friendship. When we were introduced, we both pretended we didn’t know each other. What would you do?
A. I would tell her and put it out on the table as being authentic, so as not to appear deceitful. I think she would want to know, and it’s up to her what she does with the information. She might not want to follow in your footsteps romantically speaking, or she may not care. I would definitely mention his inclination to be violent.
Q. Recently, I stopped by my girlfriend’s house unexpectedly and as I stood at the door preparing to knock, I overheard her telling a friend on the phone all about our relationship. Some of the things she mentioned were very personal and private to me, and I resented her for it. I broke up with her because I felt betrayed, but all my buddies say that I’ve overreacted to a common occurrence. Do women tell their girlfriends everything? What do you say?
A. I say, I don’t blame you. It may well be a common occurrence, but not one that we wish to witness. think that what goes on in a relationship should be kept sacred, and anyone who violates that rule should be flogged and dismissed, especially if they’re caught. Good for you!
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