by Sarah Smart
Q. My best friend’s boyfriend flirts openly with me in front of her. He makes obscene passes at me every time we’re in the same company and he leaves flirtatious messages on my phone. But the last straw came recently when he called me and stated that there was “chemistry” between us that was undeniable. I responded by informing him, that to the contrary, I found him repulsive and hung up. Then, when I left for work this morning, he was parked in front of my door offering me a ride to work. I ignored him but I’m stressed out over this situation. He knows I won’t tell my friend, for fear of hurting her and he is taking full advantage of my loyalty. What would you do?
A. I would accuse him of stalking me and threaten to go to the police if he didn’t stop and I would avoid my friend’s company when they’re together. If he doesn’t stop, I’d record his message and let her hear it.
Q. My ex-boyfriend is trying to come back after a heart-breaking incident that left me scarred for life. Four years ago, he said he was going away to a family reunion and went on his honeymoon instead. Later, I found out that he married his best friend’s ex-wife. At first, I felt hatred toward him and it had begun to consume me until I started going to church. Now he’s back, “repentant.” He’s divorced now and confessing his love for me. He’s bombarding me with talk of making everything up to me. I still love him but do you think I’d be stupid to resume our relationship? I haven’t told anyone about his reappearance, because I fear what people will say. What do you think?
A. Yes, I think stupid is an appropriate word. Deceitfulness is an unkind act that is seldom healed by “repentance”. By the way, forgive and forget means not to hold a grudge, it does not mean you should go back into the lion’s den, and fraternize with the same lion that bit you.
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