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The Singles Scene

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I was recently engaged to a man who suddenly announced out of the blue that he didn’t want to get married, and he wanted his ring back.  We had been engaged for two years and he kept putting the wedding off.  When I asked for an explanation, he slammed out the door and I haven’t heard from him since.  I am very angry and I refuse to give the ring back because I feel he owes me.  Everyone in my life thinks I ought to move on, and give him the ring back.   What do you think?  I am so stressed over this that I’ve had suicidal thoughts.

A.  I suggest you seek professional counseling, because as far as I can see, you should accept his actions as closure.  We cannot always have what we want.  Though an explanation would be the right thing to do, it may not be what he wants to do.  A breakup is not the end of the world.  All is not lost.  It sounds like you got a break.  Why want someone who doesn’t want you?  However, if I were in your shoes, I’d keep the ring too.  It seems you earned it through two years of anguish.

Q.  I live with my boyfriend, but I feel like a boarder living in his house without privileges.  He has certain house rules that I must abide by or he threatens to put me out.  Though I live here, he won’t give me a key because he doesn’t want me here when he’s not home.  I have no family or friends here, and I have nowhere to go.  When I get off from work, depending on the weather, I go to the library or the park until he comes home.  I don’t know what to do or where to go for help.  I can’t afford to live by myself.

A.  Whether you realize it or not, you are a victim of domestic abuse, and you need to seek help.  Everyone deserves their independence and a safe home they can have access to.  Please call the Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233. I know they have the resources to help you.  Stay strong!

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.

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