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The First Date:

8 Things To Consider

 by M.K. Allison

You have just received the phone call you’ve been waiting on.  The new guy your sister has been raving about is on the phone wanting to know when he can meet you.  She’s impressed …and you’re impressed with how he sounds.  You can’t wait.  It’s been a while since you’ve met anyone appealing, and this guy sounds like a winner.  He wants to meet you tomorrow…and you’re ready.    But wait…slow down.  First, here are 8 things to consider …

Timing: Never set a date the same week of the initial contact.  Always, always, set it up for the following week.  You must never give the impression that you have nothing else better to do.  After all, you are a busy person with a life. The initial date should be breakfast,  lunch or early evening drinks, just in case the attraction is not mutual or the conversation is boring. 

Transportation –  If possible, make sure you meet at the agreed-upon location in separate cars if you’ve never met before.  You must leave yourself open for a quick getaway in case you need one.  Mentally, when you go on a first date you must hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.  And the key objective is not to waste anyone’s time, especially yours. 

Consider Date Place: Dinner can be too confining and formal for a first meeting.  My friend Sandy, went out to dinner with a guy on their first date and realized after he ordered his third cocktail (in ten minutes) that she wasn’t interested.  But she felt trapped because dinner had been ordered.  She suffered through until he ordered dessert, and then pretended she had forgotten an appointment and cut the evening short.  Remember, if you like each other, dinner is a good second phase to look forward to.  But it can also be an expensive waste of time if the chemistry’s not there. Recently, I had a great time when I went horseback riding on a first date after having lunch at a fast-food chicken shack.

First Date Decorum: Don’t give up your life history on the first date.  It comes off like it’s been a long time since you had somebody to talk to. Relax and be yourself.  Don’t pretend to be the kind of person you think this person would like.  People who depict their true selves have a higher success rate with the opposite sex than people who don’t.  Be sure to listen carefully to his every word and pay attention.  If he tells you that his last wife moved out and left all her clothes and jewelry, head for the nearest exit.

Don’t ignore unfavorable behavior.  On this one, you can’t be staring at his dreamy eyes, and be oblivious to him checking out the curves of the waitress as she takes your order, with lust in his eyes.

Have an open mind.  This person could be your soulmate.  Don’t be too quick to dismiss this event as a loss, if you fail to connect from a physical standpoint.  If the person is nice to talk to, seek out the beauty spots.  We all have at least one, and this person could have some hidden assets that don’t jump out at you.

Don’t worry about if you don’t click at all.  But you could have possibly made a new friend or a great business contact.  Make sure the encounter ends on a friendly note.

Don’t name drop during this first meeting, unless you have a spotless reputation.  If you have to clean up your act, don’t connect yourself to the names of people who could possibly give you a bad rap.

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