How Not To Be A Victim…

How Not To

Be A Victim

by B.L. Peters

Several months ago, I escaped being raped, and here’s how.  It was ten o’clock at night and gloomy as I parked my car and began walking to my apartment complex.  Suddenly out of nowhere, a very well-dressed man appeared at my side.  I looked up startled and he laughed smoothly. I remember he had gorgeous teeth.

“I hope I didn’t startle you,” he said in a low deep voice.  “I live in that building, and I was just looking for a little walk-home company.”  I relaxed my hand on the container of Mace I always kept in my pocket and smiled.  “Where did you come from,” I asked, still feeling a little apprehensive.  “I didn’t see you walk up.”   “I’m like Casper, I came out of nowhere,” he replied with a chuckle.

My instinct and my rationale were having a serious battle.  Don’t talk to him.  Stop walking, turn around, and pretend you left something in your car…Aw, he’s alright…He’s too well-dressed to be a criminal… Don’t walk past that gangway up ahead with him…Aw, relax.  You’ve been watching too much Law & Order.”

At the end of my last thought, he extended his right hand, as if he had read my mind.  “My name is Ron,” I hesitated.  If I shook his hand, I would have to take my right hand out of my pocket.  I nodded, silently, and kept my hand in my pocket on my Mace.

We were nearing a gangway, and suddenly I felt very nervous.  My inner voice screamed at me, leave the sidewalk and walk out into the street!  But I couldn’t.   I had no legitimate reason to walk in the street and I didn’t want to look foolish.

“Are you married?” he asked, as I looked down at his shoes.  Their appearance didn’t match the smartness of his clothes.  I looked up at him.  I decided to lie.  He wasn’t my type anyway.  “Yes, in fact, my husband is at home waiting for me.”

We were at the mouth of the gangway now.  He was looking the other way.  I relaxed again.  We passed the gangway.  Then all of a sudden he had a knife in my side and was pushing me back to the gangway.  “If you scream, B_______, I’ll kill you,” he hissed between clenched teeth.  “Get in there and take your clothes off.  I’m gonna get it tonight instead of your husband.”

I was so scared I could barely walk.  When my purse fell to the ground, I couldn’t bend to pick it up.  I felt paralyzed.  He growled like a dog, when I looked into his eyes.

“Take your clothes off, or I’ll cut your throat,” he said with a wild look.  “Take your hands outta your pockets!”

It was then in the midst of my panic that I remembered the Mace, and when I brought my hand out, I coughed and turned my head to distract him.  He grabbed my face and yanked my chin up close to his, and looked dead in my eyes.  “I’m”…. and that’s all he got out, as I sprayed the Mace in his eyes and kicked him in the groin as hard as I could with my knee.  He dropped his knife and grabbed his eyes with one hand and his groin with the other.  He was totally disabled as I picked up my purse and ran.   Of course, he was gone by the time the police got there.

I shook for three days, and I haven’t been out alone at night since.  Before that, I wasn’t afraid to be out at any time of night.  I had only started carrying Mace because my friend Denise got robbed in a parking lot downtown.   I’m glad I did.  It probably saved my life and my dignity.  The truth is, rape is an act of violence that can happen to anyone-children, students, women, men, the rich, and the poor.   Rapists can be anyone – classmates, co-workers, a neighbor or delivery person, outgoing or shy, and often a friend or family member.  In America alone, 1 out of 5 women are raped every 60 seconds and this was not my first encounter. I had almost been raped before by a friend who had given me a lift home from a party.  But when I screamed, he pushed me out of his car and drove off.

Here are some 7 Common Sense Tips from The National Crime Prevention Council. 

**Remember that a person who is raped is the victim, and is not at fault in this violent crime.  Here are some common-sense tips that can help keep you from being a target:

**Trust your instincts.  If a situation or place makes you feel uneasy, move quickly.

**Make sure all the doors in your home or apartment have deadbolt locks and use them.  Install a peephole in the door and keep entrances well-lighted.  Be careful who you open your door to.

Be wary of isolated spots – laundry rooms, underground garages, and parking lots after business hours.  Always walk with a friend or security guard, especially when you stay at hotels.

If you come home and see a door window open or broken, don’t go in.  Call the police.

Avoid walking or jogging alone, especially at night.  Stay in well-traveled, well-lit areas.

If you think you’re being followed, change direction and head for open stores, restaurants, theaters or an occupied house, or the street.  Flag down a car if you have to.