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The Transition

From High School

Dating To College Dating

by Abigail Dye

March 24, 2018

Going into your first year of college is a big deal. You have to get your books, decorate your dorm, try to get in good with your residence advisor, meet your professors, meet new friends and so much more. Along with all the adjustments you have to make, dating in college is a whole new ball game than it was in high school. Everything you knew about relationships, flirting and dating you can go ahead and erase from your memory – but don’t worry, it’s actually a good thing. Here are the 5 things you need to know about the transition from high school romances, to college dating.

  1. You may not have the time.

You might not realize it yet, but in high school you had loads of free time. Plenty of time to swoon over your crush, send cute texts and go to school dances. In college, between the two papers you have to write, the exam you need to cram for and the six chapters of reading you need to get done this week – you may not have time to send a cute text or even notice someone in a romantic way. Don’t sweat it, grades are priority and romance will eventually re-enter your life. But the first few weeks, be ready to hunker down and focus on your studies.

  1. The options just blew wide open.

Colleges and universities are hubs for people from all over the world to come together and gain an education. Depending on the high school you attended, there were probably 100-500 people of the gender you’re interested in available – possibly even fewer. Also, in high school there may be a little diversity from student to student in your class, but generally not much. In college, there are thousands of people on campus who would be ecstatic to date you. Not only that, but they are people from all walks of life, all headed down unique career paths – so your options are now wider and much more diverse.

  1. Less drama… well a little less.

Something that goes hand in hand with entering into a more populated environment is the fact that the campus community is not a very tight-knit circle. In high school, if Jimmy kisses Jane on Monday, the entire school knows about it on Tuesday. Luckily in college, there are so many people that not everyone can stay connected, so rumors and secrets are spread a lot less. Also, at this point in young-adulthood, people start to care a little less about gossip. Drama is still present, especially in smaller social circles – but you can surely kiss the bulk of high school gossip goodbye.

  1. You have control.

In high school, your parents have control of your relationship. Whether it seems like it or not, they have complete access to your texts, your social circle and essentially what you can and cannot do. After all, most high-schoolers are minors and it’s a parent’s job to monitor their activity. But, in college, all of that disappears. Your parents can try to monitor you, but at this point you are an adult and can see who you want and do what you want. This gives you a lot more freedom as to who you hang out with, your conversations and your actions. Although the freedom is nice, don’t completely cut your parents out of the loop. Believe it or not, Mom usually is right.

  1. It’s really not that serious.

In high school, if Jimmy kisses Jane, they may as well be an item. It seems like it takes only one or two dates for high school relationships to move to the next level and become serious. In college…not so much. You could be seeing someone for months and never actually date. Things tend to move slower and more rationally. This is how adult relationships work, people take time to see if they are compatible and then move forward. Also, with these causal-style relationships, break-ups are generally a lot less awkward. You’ll rarely see your ex on campus, but even if you do, the chances of you two remaining friends after the fling are very high.

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