by John Andes
There is a lot to be learned about relationships. But, I’ve discovered that good relationships come from an acquisition of personal skills that are necessary to fully enjoy the company of someone who has captured your heart. The following are some steps that have been tried and proven to cut frustration, stress and aggravation down to a minimum, and replace them with cool, unruffled behavior that is guaranteed to make love last longer.
- Don’t look for perfection. Everyone claims that they are clear that no one is perfect. But we all have our personal standards regarding the opposite sex that we psychologically operate by. Discover early what you can live with and what you can’t. Then make a decision and stick by it.
- You can only control yourself. You cannot will anyone to do what you want him or her to do. But you can influence, seduce and subtly teach your mate how to live peaceably with you through the establishment of guidelines and the use of creative language that does not demand, but merely suggests firmly.
- Decide how you want to be treated. Be sure not to scale down your wants for your needs. Work to change only yourself, but never accept what displeases you.
- Don’t pout. Don’t smolder when your heart is bumped or scratched by words or actions. Learn to use silence and soft words as a conduit for any discomfort or pain you may suffer at the hands of your mate. Be upfront with your likes and dislikes, and you will see the benefits of self-respect.
- Manage your expectations. Measure your expectations in a relationship against what’s fair and what’s not. Recognize mood swings, philosophical differences and personality quirks, and make the appropriate mental adjustments. Remember, moods can be confusing signals that are not necessarily personally directed to you.
- Watch your words. Be careful of what comes out of your mouth. It seems that no one ever forgets what’s said to them cruelly. In relationships, words are filed away and seldom forgotten. You should always say less than you think. Words can be very damaging in relationships if used carelessly and without thought.
- Don’t dish what you can’t take. Restrain from criticizing your mate at all costs. It can slowly eat away at the fiber of a relationship, because subconsciously we all seek to be approved of and/or applauded. Therefore, correction if necessary should be done with humor.
- Don’t be ordinary. Don’t get caught up in the “relationship routine.” This is a common enemy that can easily cause boredom in relationships. Always be on the lookout for exciting and unusual things to do to keep the “sparks” alive. Instead of renting a movie, rent a limo and go sightseeing in your own city.