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I just found out that my estranged husband of four years married another woman and we’re not divorced. Should I have him arrested?

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I just found out that my husband whom I’ve been separated from for the last four years has married another woman, and we’re not divorced.  I found out by accident when a new co-worker was showing off photos from her cousin’s wedding, and there stood my husband as the groom.  I’m wondering if I should have him arrested for bigamy, or just divorce him.   MORE


I heard a rumor that my boyfriend is cheating on me, but I don’t want to confront him without proof.

by Sarah Smart

February 7, 2019

Q.  I just heard from a very reliable source that my boyfriend of three years is newly engaged to another woman, and something tells me it’s true.  But if I confront him, he’ll only lie and get angry with me for believing rumors.  He’s cheated on me before.  How can I find out the truth?  I don’t want to lose him on an unfounded rumor. I can afford to hire a detective, but I hesitate because I don’t want to invade his privacy.   MORE


I went out with a guy who seemed impressed, but hasn’t called me since.  I’m doing all the calling.  Should I continue to call him?

by Sarah Smart

February 5, 2019

Q.  I recently went on a first date with a guy with whom I was very impressed.  I thought we had a wonderful time and that the feeling was mutual.  We exchanged numbers and he promised to call.  That was three weeks ago and he has yet to dial my number.  We have talked a couple of times and each time I called him.  However, both times, he appeared to be glad to hear from me, but not one time did he mention seeing me again or calling at a later date.  I have played back our conversations and not one time has there been any innuendo or flirtatious remark from him.  I flirt…he dodges.  He’s warm, but distant.  I wonder is he shy and maybe waiting on me to make the first move?  Would you say he’s interested?  I really like him and don’t want him to slip away if there’s potential.  MORE


I just found out that my closest friend is dating my sister’s husband.

by Sarah Smart

January 28, 2019

Q.  I just found out that my closest friend is dating my sister’s husband.  I accidentally bumped into them holding hands at a barbeque joint in a suburb of the city.  My brother-in-law was embarrassed and begged me not to tell my sister, while my friend was arrogant and unashamed.  I don’t know what to do, because I don’t want to hurt my sister by telling her, but I hate the fact that her husband is deceiving her.  I severed my ties with my girlfriend on the spot.  What would you do?  MORE


Recently, I got engaged to a guy who I’m suddenly suspicious of. I think he’s hit on my best friend.

by Sarah Smart

January 23, 2019

Q:  “I just got engaged to a guy who I’m suddenly very suspicious of.  I often catch him staring hungrily at my best friend, and she is very nervous around him.  I believe in my heart that he has hit on her.  But when I confronted him about staring at her, he denied it and called me paranoid and childish.  When I asked her if he approached her inappropriately, she denied it, but she couldn’t look me in the eye.  My gut tells me that I can’t trust him, and I’m ready to call the wedding off.  My mom thinks I’ve overreacting to a suspicious nature.  What do you think?  MORE


An obnoxious girlfriend flirted and slipped her business card to my date in front of me.

by Sarah Smart

January 19, 2019

Q.  I was out the other night with a new date and ran into a couple of girlfriends who are untrustworthy. Both of them gushed over the guy like he was a movie star and I saw one of them slip him a card, which he hurriedly put in his pocket and never mentioned. i thought the act was very disrespectful.  I’m furious.  But I don’t want to come across like I’m paranoid and jealous, so I’m afraid to say anything to him.  But I’m so angry I must do something.  What would you do?  Should I speak to him or her or both?

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My boyfriend’s behavior totally changed toward me when he was fired from his job.

by Sarah Smart

January 14, 2019

Q.  I have been dating a man for five months who, up to a week ago, has always behaved like a gentleman. We had a date scheduled recently, and when he showed up, he was very upset because he had been fired that day.  The evening didn’t go well because he grumbled and complained all through dinner.  When the check came, I offered to pay for the meal, but he became angry and said he wasn’t a charity case.  He got up and left the restaurant, leaving me stranded.  I was angry, especially after I had to wait an hour for a cab, but when he called the next day and apologized, I forgave him.  But I don’t want to go out with him again.  My friends say I’m not being fair.  What do you think?  Am I over-reacting?  MORE


At the beauty shop, I overheard another woman bragging about her boyfriend who turned out to be my boyfriend.

by Sarah Smart

January 1, 2019

Q.  I was sitting in the beauty shop the other day and overheard the woman in the next chair discussing her new boyfriend and how attentive he was.  I remember feeling envious because my boyfriend is by no means attentive. I felt myself straining to listen, as she described the flowers, gifts and dates at expensive restaurants.  But I practically fell out of  the chair when she mentioned his car and his name and he turned out to be my boyfriend, who has been mysteriously “tied up” for the past six weeks.  I am crushed and hurt, but also confused on whether or not I should confront him.  This guy’s my mainstay and we have been together for two years and have a child.    MORE__

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Is it OK to call a guy you never heard from after a one night stand encounter?

by Sarah Smart

December 22, 2018

Q.  Last month, I met a great guy at a party. We went out one time, and had an evening that involved intimacy, but he never called again.  We made a connection and I know it.  I’m certain he misplaced my number because he seemed too impressed not to call.  Do you think it would be stupid to track him down  and ask why I have not heard from him?   My friends all say leave it alone. But, I believe it was Fate that we met.  MORE


My fiance`backed out of our wedding because he went back to an ex-girlfriend. Now, he’s back and ready to get married.

by Sarah Smart

December 19, 2018

Q.  Three weeks ago, my fiancé backed out of our planned church wedding for January and asked for his ring back. He stated the reason as cold feet and depression.  I almost had a nervous breakdown. Then I learned that an ex-girlfriend had come back into the picture, which made it hurt even more.  I spent over $30,000 on this wedding and there is no way I can get my money back.  Then last week, he showed up at my job with flowers, saying he changed him mind and he wants to go through with the wedding after all.  However, it seemed he was acting more out of guilt than love.  I love him, but I’m hesitant.  I don’t want to be embarrassed by calling this wedding off, but I also don’t want to go into a marriage with another woman hanging around on the fringes.    MORE


I’m having a birthday party next month and I don’t want to invite my best friend because she can’t go anywhere without her obnoxious boyfriend.

by Sarah Smart

December 12, 2018

Q:  Next month, I’m having a birthday party at my home and I only wish to have people there that I love and care about.  But I have a problem.  I cannot stand my best friend’s boyfriend, and she can’t go anywhere without him.  He is obnoxious, vulgar and flirtatious, and I don’t want him within ten feet of my door.  I know if I tell her not to bring him, she won’t come. And I can’t imagine having the party without her.  What can I do?

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I was happily involved with this guy for three months who suddenly dumped me for no apparent reason.

by Sarah Smart

December 9, 2018

Q.  I was involved happily with a guy for three months.  We went on a cruise together and I thought we’d become very close.  Then all of a sudden, he stepped away without one word of explanation.  After a week, I called him and asked what was the problem?  He told me only that he thought I should see other people because he wanted to see others and that we should move on with our lives.  I am so hurt and immobilized by his actions and comments that I cannot function.  I can’t eat or sleep, because I don’t know what happened…..what’s wrong with me…..or why he suddenly doesn’t want me anymore. He won’t talk to me and refuses my calls.  What can I do?   MORE


I’m angry because my ex called to say  he’s dating my best friend and he wanted me to hear it from him.

by Sarah Smart

December 1, 2018

Q:  I got a phone call from a ex-boyfriend last week, who stated he had begun dating my best friend and he wanted me to hear it from him.  We stopped dating two years ago and prior to the phone call, he was the farthest thing from my mind, but I was upset after I talked to him.  Though I pretended not to care, my head was pounding with anger.  When I got off the phone, I called my friend to express my resentment.  She thought I was crazy, because she’s not dating anyone else and I am.  I cannot stand the thought of her becoming involved with a guy I had told her everything about. What do you say? MORE


I am being sexually harassed by my boss after I made a grave mistake.

by Sarah Smart

November 26, 2018

Q.  Several months ago, I had too much to drink at an office party and ended up sleeping with my married boss. He offered me a ride home, and I forgot myself.  I was lonely and he took advantage of my vulnerability. However, since that time, he continues to harass me sexually even though I told him it was a grave mistake I regret.  I can’t stand looking at him, but I don’t know what to do?  He’s a very vengeful person and I don’t want to lose my job.  I haven’t told anyone what happened.   MORE


I made the mistake of letting my boss know I had feelings for him and he’s been ignoring me ever since.

by Sarah Smart

November 13, 2018

Q.  For the last two years, I’ve had a secret attraction to my boss.  Last month, on his birthday, after much urging from my best friend, I finally got up enough courage to tell him how I felt through a card.  However, he never responded to the gesture and has been avoiding me ever since.  He used to speak; now he mumbles.  It’s obvious that he’s not interested in me, and he feels awkward now that he knows how I feel.  I’m so embarrassed that I’m thinking about quitting.  What do you think?   MORE


I’m miserable living with my boyfriend because he doesn’t want to get married and I do.

by Sarah Smart

November 8, 2018

Q.  I am 37 and have never been married.  I am currently living with my boyfriend of two years, because he preferred living together to getting married.  I’m miserable because I really want to get married, and I don’t want to live with him indefinitely.  I also don’t want to lose him because we can’t agree on this one issue.  What do you think I should do?  MORE


I’ve been having one night stands for a year with a guy and we’ve never been on a date.

by Sarah Smart

November 3, 2018

Q.  I’m in a relationship with a guy I’m addicted to. We met one year ago, and I found him so irresistible that I had a one night stand with him.  Unfortunately, we’ve have been having one night stands ever since.  We only see each other every three weeks, and when we do get together it is usually to have sex. We have never gone on a date and I feel stupid.  At first, I felt I could handle our encounters emotionally, but I can’t because I’ve fallen in love.  I want this guy to know that in spite of our first meeting, I am an intelligent woman full of love and caring, but I’m afraid if I tell him,I’ll lose what we have.    MORE


I’m very attracted to the friend of a woman I date from time to time and I want to pursue the feeling.

October 26, 2018

Q.  I’ve been dating a woman on an infrequent basis, (friends with benefits) who recently introduced me to her friend who just moved here from out of state.  The chemistry was strong between us, as we both stood trying to play off the attraction.  She was hot and my problem is that I want to ask her out, but I’m concerned about hurting the other girl’s feelings. We’re not serious, but she wants to be.  However, I feel if I advance on her friend, she’ll be shattered.  Right now, I think I should follow my instincts. What do you think?    MORE


I slept with my best friend’s husband and now I have a need to confess to her.

by Sarah Smart

October 22, 2018

Q.  I’ve got a horrible secret that I can’t keep any longer.  I got drunk and slept with my best friend’s husband while she was out of town. However, I felt real guilty about it and needed to confess it to somebody.  I called a friend, who I figured could keep my secret.  However, before I could make my confession, she broke down and confessed that she had slept with the same guy.  I was shocked and ended up not saying anything.  Now, I want to tell my best friend about her no-good cheating husband and end the friendship because I can no longer look at her in good conscience.  However, I’m torn between clearing my conscience and hurting her.  Any suggestions?   MORE


I’m dating a guy 10 years younger than me and I don’t trust him.

by Sarah Smart

October 8, 2018

Q.  I am currently dating a guy who is ten years younger than me, and I’m very self-conscious about it. I’m 35 and he’s 25.   I don’t trust him, and I’m afraid to let him out of my sight.  Whenever I see him talking to a woman his age, I feel sick.  I really like this guy, but I’m miserable when he’s not around.  I am very insecure in the relationship and it’s driving me crazy.  When he drives my car and returns it, I go over it like a detective looking for evidence of another woman.  What can I do to stop being so suspicious?  MORE


I’m too embarrassed to return to work after a co-worker told my married boss I had a secret crush on him.

by Sarah Smart

October 4, 2018

Q.  I have a crush on my married boss and I’ve had it for awhile. Recently, at an office party, I confided in a co-worker, and later learned that after having too much to drink, she told him.  I have been so embarrassed that I haven’t been able to go back to work.  What would you do?

A.  I would go back to work and act as if nothing happened and that I knew nothing.  I would also make sure that any signs of my having a crush on him would disappear from that day forth.    MORE


When I saw my friend’s fiance` out with another woman, I called her and she hasn’t spoken to me since.

by Sarah Smart

October 1, 2018

Q.  I saw my best friend’s “fiancé” at a recent party wrapped up with another woman and they looked very much like a couple. He spotted me and was bold enough to speak and act if he didn’t care about being seen.  I’ve never trusted him because I thought he was a phony.  I was so angry I called my friend from the party and she hasn’t spoken to me since.  I have phoned her several times and she refuses my calls.  We’ve been friends since high school, and I’m distraught over what I did.  Do you think I made a mistake?  She had always said that she would want to know the truth regardless of how much it hurt.  I hear he denied being at the party, called me a “hater” and the wedding is still on.  What do you think I should do?   MORE


My blind date didn’t work out well because she just didn’t appeal to me.  Now, she is begging me to tell her why.  Should I?

by Sarah Smart

September 28, 2018

Q.  I took this woman out a few weeks ago on a blind date who I found to be very unattractive. Before the evening ended, she informed me she liked me and hoped the feeling was mutual.  I didn’t respond and the evening ended on an ambiguous note with me being evasive because I didn’t want to offend her.  However, she began calling the next day and continued to call for several weeks.  When I didn’t return her calls, she sent an email, expressing a desire to know why I wasn’t interested.  I want to tell her about the poor condition of her teeth, the roughness of her hands and the awful weave she was wearing..  What do you think?  Should I?    MORE


I bought my own engagement ring and my boyfriend changed his mind and refuses to reimburse me.

by Sarah Smart

September 24, 2018

Q.  A year ago, my boyfriend proposed to me, but he didn’t have the money to buy me a ring, so he asked me to buy my own ring, and he would reimburse me later. Out of excitement and against my better judgment, I went out and bought a ring that I couldn’t really afford. Since that time, he called off the engagement and is refusing to reimburse me for the purchase of the ring.  I want to take him to court and try to get my money back, but everyone says I don’t have a case, and that I would look ridiculous.  What do you say?  MORE


I’m a schoolteacher dating a janitor at my school who has become starstruck. How can I bring him back to where he used to be?

by Sarah Smart

September 19, 2018

Q.  I’m a schoolteacher, who recently became involved with a guy who works at my school as a maintenance worker. I was initially attracted to him because of his good looks, confidence and sense of humor.  However, when we began dating, he became Mr. Klutz.  He acts star-struck and suddenly ridiculously inhibited.   He can’t seem to get over the fact that I could like him.  I would like to see him act his old self again.  He refuses to be seen with me in public and it’s driving me crazy.  Any suggestions on how to get us back on the same track?    MORE


My best friend is engaged to a guy who is playing her and I feel I’m partaking in the deceit because I haven’t told her that he’s cheating on her.

by Sarah Smart

September 15, 2018

Q.  My best friend is engaged to a guy who is playing her.  I feel like I’m participating in the deceit, because I haven’t told her what I know, and I’m feeling guilty about it.    I recently saw him out on a double date with another woman at a concert.  I became so angry that I keyed his car later when I spotted it in the parking lot.  When my friend told me the next day that he had broken his date with her the night before because he was sick, I felt sick, because I couldn’t tell her I saw him out. I just don’t want to get in the middle of their mess.  What would you do?  MORE


I’m a white girl dating a black co-worker in an office filled with black women who resent the relationship.

by Sarah Smart

September 10, 2018

Q.  I’m a white girl dating a black co-worker in an office filled with black women.  Though we’ve tried to keep our relationship a secret, it’s apparent that these women suspect we are involved.  I am snubbed at work, and I often find nasty anonymous notes on my desk regarding our relationship and how they feel about it.  The problem is that we’re getting married in two months and I have a dilemma.  All of the white women in the office know and are happy for me, and I wish to invite them to the wedding, but I don’t want the black women to feel I snubbed them and make the working conditions worse.  I have a lot of respect for your opinion, what do you think?  MORE


I’ve been waiting for eight years for my boyfriend to propose.  Now that he has, I’m no longer interested.

by Sarah Smart

September 5, 2018

Q.  I had been hanging on in a relationship for over eight years waiting and praying for this guy to marry me, and he kept putting me off.  Finally, he proposed last month in a fancy restaurant and gave me a fancy ring, but it’s too late.  In fact, I’ve begun seeing someone else who treats me far better than he ever did.  Though my boyfriend took me for granted for years, I accepted the ring because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.  I haven’t worn it since, and I don’t plan to.  I want to ship it back to him with a Dear John note, because I don’t wish to face him. But my friends think it would be an awful thing to do.  What do you think?      MORE


I was overheard making an ugly remark about my friend and her husband at her wedding and now she won’t talk to me.

by Sarah Smart

September 1, 2018

Q.  At a friend’s recent wedding, I made a crude remark about her (out of jealousy I admit) and her husband that was too ugly to repeat.  Unfortunately, her cousin overheard it and told her.  When she confronted me with it, I lied at first and then apologized profusely.  I also begged for forgiveness.  I even confessed my bout with jealousy because she got married before I did, but she refuses to talk to me, and has slammed the door in my face on more than one occasion.  Should I just leave it alone?  I feel rotten, because she was such a good friend.   MORE


My boyfriend compliments every pretty woman he sees in my presence and I can’t stand it.

by Sarah Smart

August 28, 2018

Q.  The guy I’ve been dating for several months drives me crazy.  When we’re out, he compliments every pretty female stranger he sees on her looks.  I don’t want to appear jealous or insecure, so I don’t say anything.  But I get so angry I can’t sleep at night. It feels like he has no respect for my presence or my feelings.  I was alone for over a year before I met him and I don’t want to be alone again.  What would you suggest I do?     MORE


My married boyfriend, who is currently separated, refuses to take me around his family.

by Sarah Smart

August 24, 2018

Q.  I am dating a married man, who is currently separated from his wife.  We are in love, and planning to get married when he gets a divorce.  However, we have a problem.  His sister is getting married, and I want to go to the wedding, but he doesn’t want to take me because his wife is going to be there.  He thinks it would be disrespectful to her and his family, and I think it’s unfair to me because we’re a couple.  He thinks I’m being selfish.  What do you think?      MORE


After two years of being engaged, my fiance`called off the wedding and wants his ring back.

by Sarah Smart

August 17, 2018

Q.  I was recently engaged to a man who suddenly announced out of the blue that he didn’t want to get married, and he wanted his ring back.  We had been engaged for two years and he kept putting the wedding off.  When I asked for an explanation, he slammed out the door and I haven’t heard from him since.  I am very angry and I refuse to give the ring back because I feel he owes me.  Everyone in my life thinks I ought to move on, and give him the ring back.   What do you think?  I am so stressed over this that I’ve had suicidal thoughts.   MORE


I’m to be married next month, after discovering my fiance` is still sleeping with his ex.  I’m interested in your opinion on my plan for revenge.

by Sarah Smart

August 13, 2018

Q.  I was all set to get married next month until I learned by accident that my fiancé is still sleeping with an ex-girlfriend. I intercepted his voice mail and discovered a message she’d left for him regarding their recent sexual exploits and her having second thoughts of still seeing her after he marries me.  I have told no one about this, but I’m incensed over this and feel hurt and betrayed.  I have decided to exact my revenge, by just being a no-show at the altar.  He’s from a very prominent family, where appearances mean everything, and the wedding is scheduled to take place at a big church.  I think it would be a waste of time to confront him, since I’ve made the decision not to marry him.  I’d like your opinion.   MORE


I have fallen in love with another woman, but I don’t know how to tell my girlfriend.

by Sarah Smart

August 7, 2018

Q:  I want to break up with my girlfriend, but I don’t know how without sounding deceitful and low-down.  Here’s the problem, when we first started out, both of us expressed a strong commitment to being honest in a relationship, but at this time I know I can’t because I don’t want to crush her.  I am also not prepared for her insistent questions about why.  I have fallen in love with someone else, and I simply can’t tell her the truth.  I just want to walk away and leave her to speculate, but my conscience won’t let me.  Any suggestions?   MORE


My ex-boyfriend is stalking me and the police haven’t been able to help me. Any suggestions?

by Sarah Smart

August 2, 2018

Q.  My ex-boyfriend has been stalking and threatening me for over two months. I’ve filed a police report and everything, but whenever he shows up at my door and I call the police, he’s gone before they arrive.  I live alone and my family is in another state.  I’m a prisoner in my home, because I’m afraid to go out.  I take a cab to work every day because I’m scared to death.    MORE


My boyfriend wants to move in with me first and get married later, but I don’t believe him.

by Sarah Smart

July 26, 2018

Q.  I have been seeing this guy for over four months and he’s been pressing me to let him move in with me.  He promises we’ll be married within a year, but somehow I don’t trust that he means it.  He keeps implying he doesn’t feel my love because I won’t let him move in, and that maybe we should go our separate ways.  I do love him and I don’t want to lose him, but I’m not ready to live with him without being married.  What would you do?    MORE


A former boyfriend, who said he was going to a family reunion and went on his honeymoon instead, is now divorced and wants to come back.

by Sarah Smart

July 20, 2018

Q.  I have an ex-boyfriend who is trying to come back after a heart-breaking incident that left me scarred for life. Four years ago, he told me he was going away to a family reunion and went on his honeymoon instead. Later, I found out that he married a girl who worked in his office. I loved him, so at first, I felt hatred and it had begun to consume me until I started going to church.  Now he’s back, “repentant.”  He’s divorced now and confessing his love for me.  He’s bombarding me with talk of making everything up to me.  I think I still love him.  I know I must forgive him for what he did, but do you think I’d be stupid to resume our relationship?  I have not told a soul about his reappearance, because I’m afraid of what people will say.  I’ve heard to forgive means to forget.  What do you think?   MORE


After a huge fight, my fiance`wants his ring back, but I’ve refused.

by Sarah Smart

July 20, 2018

Q.  My boyfriend gave me an engagement ring after proposing to me on a double date with my best friend. However, a week later, he called and asked for it back after we had a very heated argument.  I refused, and he’s threatening to sue me to get his ring.  I want to keep the ring because I’m certain that we’ll eventually make up.  But he is insisting that I return the ring.  What would you do?  I would be too embarrassed if I had to return the ring.  I’ve shown it to everyone.    MORE


I’m afraid that if I tell my fiancee` that I’ve been in prison before, she’ll call off the wedding.

by Sarah Smart

July 16, 2018

Q.  I am getting ready to get married next month, and I was wondering if I should come clean and tell my fiancée, who is an attorney, that I once served time in prison for rape. Though, it was a bogus charge by a vindictive ex-girlfriend, I am still considered an ex-con.  Frankly, I’m afraid that if I tell her, she’ll leave me, but everyone is saying I should.  I have a lot of respect for your opinion.  What do you think?

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I want to ask this hot guy from work out, though he has never shown any interest in me.

by Sarah Smart

July 10, 2018

Q.  I have a serious admiration for a co-worker, and he walks around me like he doesn’t know I exist.  I don’t think he’s interested because he won’t even look at me, but my co-workers have convinced me that there’s a strong possibility that he may be interested and afraid to acknowledge his interest.  I’m writing you because I want to invite him to my friend’s party as my date, but I wanted your opinion.  What would you do in my shoes?    MORE


I’ve seen my boyfriend out with another woman twice, but I was too afraid to confront him because he hates any display of jealousy.

by Sarah Smart

July 6, 2018

Q.  I have seen my boyfriend out twice with the same woman and each time I made myself hidden to avoid confrontation.  I am stuck between wanting to know the truth and not wanting to know the truth.  He hates jealous women, and I don’t want to be classified as one.  He is still as attentive as ever, but he is never home anymore.  I suspect he’s seeing her. What should I do?  I can’t go on not knowing.   MORE


I slept with a co-worker who I’m not the least attracted to, and she’s making my life hell.

by Sarah Smart

July 2, 2018

Q.  I made a serious mistake. Two months ago, I drank too much at a party one night and ended up sleeping with an aggressive co-worker who had been after me for months.  Immediately, after it happened I regretted it, because I knew she really liked me and I didn’t like her in the least. Since that time, I have tried avoiding her, but she has accosted me at work and on the street about “playing” her, and that was not the case.  She’s making my life miserable at the office.  What can I do to turn this thing around?  I’m about to get engaged and I don’t want to be harassed.     MORE


My fiance`backed out of the wedding due to “cold feet’ and changed his mind a week later. Would you accept him back?

by Sarah Smart

June 28, 2018

Q.  Three weeks ago, my fiancé backed out of our planned wedding for October, stating the reason as cold feet. I almost had a nervous breakdown.  I cried for a week, when I learned that an old girlfriend had come back into the picture.  Then last week, he suddenly showed up with flowers, and said he changed him mind and he wants to go through with the wedding.  I love him, but I’m hesitant.  I have bought my dress, and I don’t want to be embarrassed by calling this wedding off.  I’ve told no one what he did.    MORE


I just found out that I’m dating my cousin’s ex-boyfriend and she’s angry about it.  Should I stop seeing him?

by Sarah Smart

June 26, 2018

Q.  I am dating a guy who has proven to be a real gem.  But I found out recently that he used to date my cousin some years ago. He ended the relationship and she’s still bitter about it.  My cousin learned about us over the holiday and has stopped speaking to me.  My mother thinks I should stop seeing him for the sake of “family peace,” but my sisters feel I should be unaffected by my cousin’s behavior because the relationship is done.  What do you think?    MORE


I overheard a woman talking about her “boyfriend” who also turned out to be my boyfriend.

by Sarah Smart

June 21, 2018

Q.  I was sitting in the beauty salon the other day and overheard a woman in the next chair discussing her new boyfriend. I felt myself straining as she described the flowers and the cozy dinners, but I practically fell out of the chair when she mentioned his name and he turned out to be my boyfriend.  I’m crushed, but also confused on whether or not I should confront him.  I know he will deny any knowledge of this woman.  But I have to let him know I know.  Even though he has never treated me in a manner even close to what she described, I need him in my life.  I was alone too long before I met him.  What would you suggest I do?  I didn’t even get her name.   MORE


I told my best friend I saw his fiancee out with another man, and he hasn’t spoken to me since.

by Sarah Smart

June 15, 2018

Q.  I recently spotted my best buddy’s fiancée at a VIP party with another guy. They danced together all evening and she kept looking at him like she was in love.  I made the mistake of telling my friend about it, because I didn’t want to see him hurt, but the guy turned out to be her cousin.  The problem is that my friend  has not spoken to me since.  I’ve tried apologizing, but he refuses to listen. We’ve been friends since high school, and I’m embarrassed and ashamed for sticking my nose in.  What else can I do?

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My very aggressive neighbor won’t take no for an answer.

by Sarah Smart

June 11, 2018

Q.  While at home recuperating from a car accident with a broken leg, my neighbor who is attractive and very friendly, knocked on my door with a beautifully prepared dinner on a tray. I gladly accepted, and was very appreciative.  The next day, I sent her some flowers to express my appreciation.  She called me that night to thank me, and has called every day since then.  I’ve got the message that she’s interested in us becoming something other than friends, but I’m already involved with someone.  I also think she misinterpreted the flower gesture.    MORE


I’m dating a guy I really like who treats me more like a friend than a love interest. What to do?

by Sarah Smart

June 6, 2018

Q.  I’ve been dating a guy for five months, who has never tried to kiss me, or attempt to spend the night. However, he always invites me to go to the movies, and various other events, where a companion is appropriate.  I really like him, but I don’t think he’s interested in me romantically.  But I’ve reached the point where I must confront him about his feelings for me.  How do you think I should approach him without sounding too forward?  All my friends have advised me to cool out and just continue enjoying the time we spend together..  MORE


I just found out that my best friend’s fiance`is still chasing after his ex.  Should I tell her?

by Sarah Smart

June 1, 2018

Q.  My best friend is currently engaged to a guy whom everyone loves and admires.  I was among the many who thought she had landed the best catch in town, until I heard last week that this guy is still calling an ex-girlfriend on a daily basis and telling her he still loves her, which means he is confused about his feelings.  I want to tell my friend, but I don’t want to hurt her.  However, I don’t want to see her walk into a marriage that could make her unhappy.  I feel guilty knowing about this and not telling her.  What would you do?   MORE


I admire a co-worker, who doesn’t seem to notice me, but I want to invite him to be my date for an upcoming party.

by Sarah Smart

May 23, 2018

Q.  I have a serious admiration for a co-worker, and he walks around me like he doesn’t know I exist.  I don’t think he’s interested because he won’t even look at me, but my friends have convinced me that there’s a strong possibility that he may be interested and afraid to acknowledge his interest.  I’m writing you because I want to invite him to my friend’s party as my date, and I wanted your opinion.  What would you do?    MORE


My best friend’s boyfriend gave me a huge cash gift for my birthday gift and I’m suspicious of his motives.

by Sarah Smart

May 20, 2018

Q.  At my birthday party last month, my best friend’s boyfriend gave me a birthday card with two hundred dollars cash, and a note in the card asking me to call him because he needed to talk to me about something. I want to return the money because I think the gift was too extravagant and I feel his motive is suspect.  I don’t want to call him, yet I don’t wish to offend him by giving the money back.  What do you think?  I believe he’s interested in me on the sly.   MORE


Whenever my boyfriend and I go out, I spend all the money because he claims not to have any.

by Sarah Smart

May 15, 2018

Q.  My boyfriend of four months cries broke all the time because of his “responsibilities.” Whenever we go out, I spend the money.  I do this, so we can be together.  I loaned him $100.00 once, and he never mentioned it again.  I didn’t say anything because I don’t want to do anything to spoil our time together.  However, last week on my birthday, he gave me a beautiful card, no gift and took me to a fast food place for dinner.  I was so hurt, I cried all night.  My friends, who don’t have boyfriends) say he doesn’t really care and I should drop him.  I just don’t want to alone again.  What do you say?     MORE


My friends and I have a hard time meeting guys who are sincere  and not heart breakers.  Any suggestions?

by Sarah Smart

May 10, 2018

Q.  In the last three months, I met two guys in a row and my best friend met three, All five were fine, intelligent and perplexing.  The guys we meet either lie about what they’re doing, scheme to keep you from finding out, or behave like imbeciles at any gesture of affection.  I want to know if you have any suggestions we can use to save ourselves from the pain and anguish that we often encounter in an attempt to cultivate a decent relationship with a guy who appeals to us?

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A hot guy, with all the best qualities, has proposed to me but my gut tells me to say no.

by Sarah Smart

May 7, 2018

Q.  I decided two years ago to abstain from sex until I got married. I was tired of hot nights and lonely days.  Four months ago, I met a guy who has shown me a love that I’ve never experienced.  He is handsome, stable and kind, and he has asked me to marry him. He is also willing to do it without knowing me sexually.  The problem is that there is something about him (I suspect he has a split personality) that tells me I would be making a mistake if I married him.  For all appearances, he is everything I’d want in a husband.  But I’m leery.  Do you think I’m letting loveless past influence me or should I follow my gut?    MORE


My family thinks I’m wrong because I put my cousin out after she slept with my boyfriend.

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I recently discovered that my live-in boyfriend of five years slept with a visiting cousin at my home.  I’m more upset with my cousin than I am with my boyfriend because I believe she seduced him, and he was just being a man.  I put her out and allowed him to stay because he begged my forgiveness.  I feel she was in control of the situation and she violated me because we’re family.  My family, including my parents, are very angry with me because of what I did.  What do you think?    MORE


My friend is about to marry my ex-husband and I’m expected to attend the wedding…

by Sarah Smart

May 1, 2018

Q.  For the last two years, one of my childhood friends has been dating my ex-husband and I’ve been pretending I didn’t care.  I still do, but I haven’t told a soul.  Now, they are planning to be married and I haven’t been able to eat or sleep since I heard about it. It has disturbed me so, that I’m thinking about accepting a job out of state.  I can’t bear to see him married to her and I would be expected to be at the wedding.  What do you think?

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My boyfriend bought me a lottery ticket and I won $35,000.  Now, he thinks I should split with him.  I say no..  What do you say?

by Sarah Smart

April 30, 2018

Q. I recently asked my boyfriend to buy me a lottery ticket, and I later won $35,000. I don’t wish to share any of my winnings with him, and he is very angry about it.  I feel like he’s imposing on me to even make such a request.  What do you think?     MORE


I invited a guy out for coffee after a meeting and he asked if his girlfriend could come. I ended up with both of them in my car kissing in the back seat.

by Sarah Smart

April 24, 2018

Q.  I feel like an idiot.  At a book club meeting recently, I decided to be bold and invited this very attractive guy to join me for coffee after the meeting. I’d been admiring him for awhile, and I thought I’d take a chance.  Well, it turned out that he didn’t have a car, and I offered him a ride.  However, to my dismay, when we got outside, he asked if his “girlfriend” (who was also in the meeting looking unattached) could join us. I was floored.  I couldn’t understand how I missed the link between them, but I nodded a reluctant yes.  Hence, the both of them ended up in the back seat of my car kissing all the way to the café.  MORE


I’ve been asked to marry a man who has children, but I don’t want to raise his kids.

by Sarah Smart

April 19, 2018

Q.  Against my better judgment, I am dating a guy with two children.  The problem is that I don’t like his kids.  They are spoiled and disrespectful.  He has asked me to marry him, and I suspect he’s also looking for a mother for his kids because he has custody.  I love him, but I don’t want to raise his kids.  I can’t make up my mind.  My family says I shouldn’t and my friends say I’m being selfish.  What do you say?

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My boyfriend is 10 years younger and I don’t trust he’s sincere because of the age difference.

by Sarah Smart

April 17, 2018

Q.   I am currently dating a guy who is ten years younger than me, and I’m very paranoid about it. I don’t trust him, and I’m afraid to let him out of my sight.  Whenever I see him talking to a woman his age, I feel sick inside.  I really like this guy, but I’m miserable when he’s not around.  I can’t figure out why he’s with me and it’s driving me crazy.  He drives my car (BMW) and whenever he returns it, I go over it like a detective looking for evidence of another woman.  What can I do to stop being so suspicious?    MORE


My boyfriend is engaged to another woman, but he loves me. Should I fight for him?

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I have been dating a guy for three months, who has turned out to be the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.  He claimed to be single and unattached, but I found out recently that he lives with a woman he has been engaged to for almost a year. He claims to love me and not her.   Everyone says I should leave him alone, before I end up getting hurt.  But I feel like he couldn’t love this other woman and be so attached to me.  He’s still single and engagements aren’t etched in stone.  What do you say/ Should I fight for him?     MORE


I don’t want my best friend’s boyfriend at my wedding. How can I invite her without him?

by Sarah Smart

April 8, 2018

Q:  Next month, I’m having a private wedding at my home and I only wish to have my closest friends and family.  But I have a problem.  I cannot stand my best friend’s boyfriend, because he has hit on me several times behind her back, and she can’t go anywhere without him.  He is obnoxious, vulgar and flirtatious, and I don’t want him within ten feet of my door.  I know if I tell her not to bring him, then she won’t come.  And I can’t imagine getting married without her being there.  What should I do.   MORE


I love my boyfriend, but I don’t like the way he treats me in public.

by Sarah Smart

April 4, 2018

Q.  I love my boyfriend, but he insists on introducing me as a“friend”  whenever we’re in public and I hate it.  When we argue about it, he says he’s too old. (He’s 37) to be referring to someone as his girlfriend.  To him, that’s a term for teenagers.  When I suggested  he refer to me as his woman, he said that word wasn’t his “style”.  (He’s an attorney, who is very image-conscious). I feel reduced and embarrassed every time he says it and he refuses to compromise.  The issue has become so bad that lately he tries to avoid introducing me at all when we’re in social settings. What would you do?

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How do I get rid of unwanted advances from co-worker after telling her I’m already involved with someone?

by Sarah Smart

March 31, 2018

Q.  At work, I had been receiving all kinds of cute notes and cards from a secret admirer.  On my birthday, I received a dozen red roses and my curiosity was finally satisfied, when the sender (a fellow co-worker), came into my office and confessed that it was her.  I was disappointed because she’s not my type.  She then asked me out and I told her that I was already involved with someone.  However, she is still sending me notes as if we had no discussion.  The other day, she sent me a card with a restaurant gift certificate for two.  What should I do?  She is beginning to get on my nerves.   MORE


I am being sexually harassed by my best friend’s boyfriend, and I don’t know what to do to stop it.

by Sarah Smart

March 27, 2018

Q.  I’m being sexually harassed by my best friend’s boyfriend who flirts openly with me in her face. He hides behind his charming smile, but he makes obscene comments and gestures to me every time I’m in his presence, and constantly leaves nasty messages on my phone.  I’m stressed over this situation because he knows I won’t tell my friend, for fear of hurting her and he is taking full advantage of my loyalty.  What can I do to stop him?

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I watched a friend flirt with my new date, grab his hand and slip him her business card on the sly. Should I confront her?

by Sarah Smart

March 23, 2018

Q.  I was out the other night with a new date and ran into a couple of girlfriends who are totally untrustworthy and very aggressive. Both of them flirted and gushed over the guy like he was Denzel and I saw one, when she thought I wasn’t looking, grab his hand and slip him a card, which he put in his pocket.  I thought she disrespected me and our friendship.  I’m furious at her and I want to confront her, but all my friends say I’m over-reacting.    What do you say?      MORE


I discovered accidentally that my best friend’s new boyfriend is a con man who is secretly engaged to another woman.  How can I let her know?

by Sarah Smart

Q.  What would you do if you found out that your best friend’s new boyfriend was engaged to one of your co-workers and you were through coincidence, invited to the engagement party?  Would you tell her?  My friend is so excited and thrilled over this guy, who has been suspect to me from the beginning.  My friend is 35, never married and obsessed with the ticking of her biological clock. Therefore, she is very vulnerable to guys with game.  I’m afraid to tell her because she is very paranoid and is always accusing others of being jealous of her.  What would you do?

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I overheard my girlfriend telling one of her friends things about us that I consider private.

by Sarah Smart

Q.  Recently, I stopped by my girlfriend’s house unexpectedly and as I stood at the door, I overheard her telling a friend on the phone all about our relationship.  Some of the things she mentioned were very personal and private to me, and I resented her for it.  I broke up with her because I felt betrayed, but all my buddies say that I’ve overreacted to a common occurrence. Do women tell their girlfriends everything?  What do you say?     MORE


My best friend’s fiance gave me a lift home one night and tried to rape me.  Should I tell her?

by Sarah Smart

Q.  My best friend asked her fiancé to give me a lift home from her house, and when we got to my door he tried to rape me.  I fell getting out of his car, but I was able to escape.  As I ran, he shouted threats at me, and told me that if I told anyone, he would hurt me.  I have been scared ever since.  I don’t know what to do.  It’s obvious that he’s crazy and my friend is about to marry him.  I already know that if I tell her, she won’t believe me.  What can I do?    MORE


I’m set to marry my long-time fiancee next month, but I’ve changed my mind, and I don’t know how to tell her.

by Sarah Smart

March 7, 2018

Q.   I’m set to marry next month, and I’ve changed my mind.  There is no one I can talk to about this, and I don’t know what to do.  I realize now that I’m really not in love, and I don’t want to break my fiancé’s heart.  She has waited for me a long time, but I can’t go through with the wedding.  I’ve been thinking about just not showing up at the altar because I can’t bear to tell her.  Got any suggestions?

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My friend’s new boyfriend is a guy I used to date and I know him to be violent.  Should I tell her?

by Sarah Smart

March 3, 2018

Q.  I’ve got a serious problem. My close friend has been crazy in love for the past four months with a guy she talked about constantly.  She had never mentioned his full name and I didn’t ask.  Therefore, when she brought him to my birthday party recently, I was shocked to see that he was the same guy I dated four years ago.  Unfortunately, he was an experience I would never forget.  He had a split personality, where he could be charming and sweet one minute and violent the next.  The problem is, I don’t know if I should tell my friend about my former affiliation with him and his quirky personality

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After a wonderful first date, I declined my date’s attempt to be invited in and I haven’t heard from him since.

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I just had the weirdest experience. I went on a second date with a prototype of Mr. Right who showed up with flowers and my favorite candy.  We had a wonderful evening at an expensive restaurant, where he stared into my eyes like he was experiencing love at first sight.  After dinner, he took me on a romantic carriage ride around the city.  When he brought me home, I declined his attempt to come in for a drink, because my place was in shambles.  He seemed disturbed by my response.  That was three weeks ago.  Since that time, I haven’t heard a word from him.  When I called him, he told me he would call me back, and never did.  Do you think I should try to contact him again?  I think I may have offended him.

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After my date let me leave his home at 2 in the morning alone, I dumped him and everyone thinks I’m over-reacting. 

by Sarah Smart

February 22, 2018

Q.  Recently, I was at the home of a guy I really like who had cooked dinner for me. The evening was wonderful until the end.  It was 2:00 in the morning, and he had fallen asleep on the couch.  When I woke him to tell him I was leaving, he simply waved goodbye, without getting up and escorting me to the door or to my car.  I was angry over his behavior and expressed it the next day when he called.   MORE


I plan to attend the wedding of my ex-fiance to rattle him after he dumped me the night before our wedding.

by Sarah Smart

February 17, 2018

Q.  Six months ago, my fiancé phoned at 3:00 in the morning and called our wedding off, which was the next day, because he “wasn’t ready to be married.” Three weeks ago, I heard he was planning to marry the ex-girlfriend he dumped me for next month.  I have not heard from him since that night and I have a need to show up at the wedding for the sole purpose of watching him squirm.  He hates any form of confrontation and I know my presence there would succeed in ruining his day.  As I think about the pleasure I would receive from watching him sweat, it helps to heal the gaping hole that he left in my heart.   MORE


Should I wear an engagement ring from my boyfriend who is in the middle of a divorce?

by Sarah Smart

February 14, 2018

Q.  I have been dating a married man for the last five years, who was separated and now after years of promising to divorce his wife, he’s in the process.  My problem is that he has given me an engagement ring to wear and all my friends think I’m crazy to wear a ring from a man who’s not divorced yet.  What do you think?

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just found out accidentally that my co-worker is dating my ex-husband.

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I just found out that my ex-husband is dating my co-worker and I hate going to work and encountering her.  I found out about them accidentally and I’ve been upset ever since.  I can’t stand knowing who he’s with because of the way he treated me.  I’m thinking about quitting my job so I don’t have to reminded of him.  My friends think I’m over-reacting.  What do you think?      MORE


If you caught your teenage daughter in bed with your boyfriend…what would you do?

by Sarah Smart

February 7, 2018

Q.  If you came home from work early and caught your underage teenage daughter in bed with your boyfriend, what would you do?

A.  I’d call the police and then I’d ascertain whether or not, it was consensual.  If it was consensual, I’d put her on “house arrest” for a year.  She couldn’t even go to the bathroom without permission, and I would also put her into counseling.    MORE


I just found out that the guy I’ve been dating lied about being a married man.

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I am dating a guy who told me initially that he was living with his sister. After I fell in love with him, I found out he was married.  He treats me well, but I know it’s wrong.  However, I don’t know how to get out, because I’m afraid I can’t live without him.  He treats me better than any man I’ve ever known.  How do I end this?       MORE


At a party recently, my boyfriend left me to dance with an ex-girlfriend who has harassed me in the past over him.

by Sarah Smart

January 30, 2018

Q.  My boyfriend and I had the biggest falling out at a party recently, because he left my side to dance with an ex-girlfriend who used to harass me over him.  I was so angry that I left the party.  I have not seen him since and he has been calling to say that I over-reacted and that I was being childish.  I think what he did was rude and disrespectful, and I never want to see him again.  My friends all agree with him.  What do you think?      MORE


I am secretly dating a white guy and I’m concerned about letting my friends know.

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I met a guy online who seems to be everything I was looking for, but he’s white.  I feel good that his lifestyle has been so cultivated that my race doesn’t matter. However, I’ve been secretly dating him though I’m sure my family would probably be supportive, but I’m concerned about consulting my friends, and what kind of sign would I send to my impressionable daughter?   I don’t want to send signals that black men are not important to me.  I just have not met one who comes close to having the same ideals, goals and religious beliefs that this man and I have so far.  What do you think?    MORE 


I made a serious mistake with a co-worker that I deeply regret.

by Sarah Smart

January 21, 2018

Q.  How do you get away from a crazy woman after making a serious mistake?   Two months ago, I drank too much at a party and ended up sleeping with a co-worker I was not romantically inclined toward.  Immediately, after it happened, I regretted it, because I realized she really liked me and the feeling was not mutual.  Since that time, she has been asking for a repeat evening and won’t take no for an answer.  She has accosted me at work and on the street about “playing” her, and that was not the case.   MORE 


My boyfriend refuses to introduce me as his girlfriend when we’re in public.

by Sarah Smart

January 17, 2018

Q.  I love my boyfriend, but he insists on introducing me as his friend, and I resent it.  When we argue about it, he says he’s too old. (He’s 37) to be referring to someone as his girlfriend.  To him, that’s a term for teenagers.  When I suggested that he refer to me as his woman, he said that word wasn’t his style.  (He’s a well-respected attorney who is very image-conscious). What would you do?  I feel reduced and embarrassed every time he says it and he refuses to compromise.    MORE 


My boyfriend never introduces me to his friends when we’re out at parties. Do you think he’s being rude?

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I have been dating a guy who is very attractive, smart and nice.  But he has the worst manners.  He burps out loud after he eats.  He always gets in the car first, and never opens the door for me.  He takes me to parties where all his friends are all gathered and won’t introduce me to anyone.  His behavior borders on rude, but I hesitate to say that, because I don’t think he means to be.  Is there any way I can tell him how I feel without hurting his feelings?  I really want this relationship to work, but he has no class and it’s driving me crazy..   MORE 


I have confused feelings about a woman I broke up with.  I want her, but not the relationship.

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I was dating this woman several months ago who I really liked. But we had two different agendas.  I wanted to do casual dating and she wanted monogamy and commitment.  I had just got out of a marriage and I wanted to enjoy my freedom.  When I explained this to her, she said she didn’t want a casual relationship and she was moving on.  We parted amicably, but I can’t stop thinking about her.  I saw her out the other night with another guy and I’ve been disoriented ever since.  The thing that disturbed me was that she seemed okay without me.  I want to be with her, but I don’t know how, since I can’t give her what she wants.  What should I do?    MORE 


My fiance’s brother is pressuring me to sleep with him before the wedding.  Should I tell my fiance?

by Sarah Smart

January 2, 2018

Q.  I’m scheduled to get married next month and my fiance’s brother is pressuring me to sleep with him before the wedding. He says he won’t leave me alone until I do.  I am very attracted to him and confused about my own feelings.  I love my fiancé, but I’m intrigued by his brother. I don’t know what to do. Should I call the wedding off, because I feel deceitful or should I tell my fiance about his brother’s actions?  MORE 


If a guy is involved with someone else, but not married, is he still considered single and fair game?

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I am 26 years old and not dating at the moment. There is this guy I really like, who wants to date me, but he is involved with someone else. He claims he can’t break up with her, because he doesn’t want to hurt her. She’s in love, but he isn’t. My friends feel that I should go ahead and date him because he’s not married to the girl. They say there’s always the possibility that I might win him away from her. But I feel deep down that I’m setting myself up for serious problems, if I date this guy. MORE