When I saw my friend’s fiance` out with another woman, I called her and she hasn’t spoken to me since.
by Sarah Smart
October 1, 2018
Q. I saw my best friend’s “fiancé” at a recent party wrapped up with another woman and they looked very much like a couple. He spotted me and was bold enough to speak and act if he didn’t care about being seen. I’ve never trusted him because I thought he was a phony. I was so angry I called my friend from the party and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I have phoned her several times and she refuses my calls. We’ve been friends since high school, and I’m distraught over what I did. Do you think I made a mistake? She had always said that she would want to know the truth regardless of how much it hurt. I hear he denied being at the party, called me a “hater” and the wedding is still on. What do you think I should do?
A. Yes I do think you made a mistake. I think it’s a serious mistake to ever tell what you see unless it’s a matter of life or death. As you see, it changed nothing. Next time, see and don’t see. Meanwhile, write your friend a letter, explain your motive and ask and hope for forgiveness.
Q. I had been corresponding with this guy online for three months before we finally decided to meet. We agreed to meet at a restaurant downtown and he told me what he would be wearing. But when I arrived at the restaurant and saw him before he spotted me, I ducked out. I did so because I was thoroughly disappointed in how he looked. He looked nothing like his photo, and he was at least two feet shorter than he said. Now, he’s calling asking what happened to me, and I don’t have the guts to tell him that I saw him and I’m no longer interested. I have stopped answering his calls and I feel bad about it. What can I do?
A. Lie. The truth would only hurt more at this point. Come up with a good excuse that would be acceptable to you if you were in his shoes, like perhaps the return of a “former lover” who recaptured your heart and you didn’t how to tell him.
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