I went out with a guy who seemed impressed, but hasn’t called me since. I’m doing all the calling. Should I continue to call him?
by Sarah Smart
February 5, 2019
Q. I recently went on a first date with a guy with whom I was very impressed. I thought we had a wonderful time and that the feeling was mutual. We exchanged numbers and he promised to call. That was three weeks ago and he has yet to dial my number. We have talked a couple of times and each time I called him. However, both times, he appeared to be glad to hear from me, but not one time did he mention seeing me again or calling at a later date. I have played back our conversations and not one time has there been any innuendo or flirtatious remark from him. I flirt…he dodges. He’s warm, but distant. I wonder is he shy and maybe waiting on me to make the first move? Would you say he’s interested? I really like him and don’t want him to slip away if there’s potential.
A. No, he doesn’t sound interested, but it sounds like he’s honest. He apparently does not want to lead you on, but he sounds like a nice guy, who’s hoping you’ll get the message. Don’t call him again under any circumstances, and don’t take his lack of attention personally. Maybe you’re just not his type. Remember, You can’t win if you’re the only one playing.
Q. I had an unfortunate experience the other night. I accidentally overheard a woman who I’ve been dating for several weeks refer to me as a “jerk.” She doesn’t know I overheard her, and I haven’t seen or talked to her since. But I have been greatly disturbed personally since overhearing the remark. I am suddenly intimidated by female contact even though I’m not totally sure of the definition. I do know that it’s an ugly term usually meant to describe a total reject. I would think by most standards, I would be considered a prize compared to most guys. I am 35 years old, with a good career and considered handsome by most standards. I want to know what could I possibly be doing to deserve such a term. I really don’t know who to discuss this with and I’m hoping since you appear to be knowledgeable in these matters, you can give me some insight.
A. I suggest you enlist the aid of a friend or family member to help review the way you come across. When a guy is referred to as a jerk, it usually relates to obnoxious behavior, poor social skills and/or a blatant ignorance of social graces. If you don’t succeed in getting your question answered satisfactorily, I would suggest you ask her directly.
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