I just found out that I’m dating my cousin’s ex-boyfriend and she’s livid.
by Sarah Smart
June 26, 2018
Q. I am dating a guy who has proven to be a real gem. But I found out recently that he used to date my cousin some years ago. He ended the relationship and she’s still bitter about it. My cousin learned about us over the holiday and has stopped speaking to me. My mother thinks I should stop seeing him for the sake of “family peace,” but my sisters feel I should be unaffected by my cousin’s behavior because the relationship is done. What do you think?
A. I think you should do your best try to be reconciled to your cousin, because it seems you’re an innocent bystander. But if she’s bent on her behavior toward you not changing, I would enjoy your “gem,” and wish her the best. It sounds like an unfortunate case of envy or lingering resentment for someone who has apparently moved on.
Q. I just found out that my best friend’s mystery man is my married brother, and my sister in law just informed me that she suspects my brother is playing around. She has a very volatile temper and plans to follow him until she catches him. I am in a real crossfire, because my sister in law trusts me with her secrets, but I feel obligated to tell my brother that she’s suspicious, because I don’t want to see him get hurt. I’m also afraid my sister in law will feel that somehow I’ve betrayed her, if she does find out. I’m in the middle, and I don’t know how to get out.
A. Tell your brother and your friend that his wife is suspicious and plans to follow him. I mean, there are “secrets” and then there are secrets. This is not a secret to keep. You’re right. Someone could get hurt. In any case, your friend could stand a little shakeup to perhaps jar her conscience.
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