I’m a white girl dating a black co-worker in an office filled with black women who resent the relationship.
by Sarah Smart
September 10, 2018
Q. I’m a white girl dating a black co-worker in an office filled with black women. Though we’ve tried to keep our relationship a secret, it’s apparent that these women suspect we are involved. I am snubbed at work, and I often find nasty anonymous notes on my desk regarding our relationship and how they feel about it. The problem is that we’re getting married in two months and I have a dilemma. All of the white women in the office know and are happy for me, and I wish to invite them to the wedding, but I don’t want the black women to feel I snubbed them and make the working conditions worse. I have a lot of respect for your opinion, what do you think?
A. I think weddings are very private affairs for friends and family only, and you are not required by “etiquette law” to invite co-workers to your wedding. I would invite only those at the office who you wish to share your happiness with.
Q. I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate at work, and I can’t eat…and all of this is due to the fact that I’m dating my best friend’s boyfriend behind her back. This has been going on for awhile, while she’s telling me that he’s acting strange towards her and she believes he’s seeing another woman. I know I’m being deceitful, but I can’t help myself. He wants to end his relationship with her, and be with me, but I can’t consent to that and live with myself. I’m thinking about confessing to her and leaving him alone, though I love him and believe he loves me. What would you do?
A. I wouldn’t confess to her, but I would end the relationship with him. Betrayal is a tough pill to swallow, and what a person doesn’t know can’t hurt them.
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