by Sarah Smart
Q. I’m a white girl dating a black co-worker in an office filled with black women. Though we’ve tried to keep our relationship a secret, it’s apparent that these women suspect we are involved. I am snubbed at work, and I often find nasty anonymous notes on my desk regarding our relationship and how they feel about it. The problem is that we’re getting married in two months and I have a dilemma. All of the white women in the office know and are happy for me, and I wish to invite them to the wedding, but I don’t want the black women to feel I snubbed them and make the working conditions worse. I have a lot of respect for your opinion, what do you think?
A. I think weddings are very private affairs for friends and family only, and you are not required by “etiquette law” to invite co-workers to your wedding. I would invite only those at the office who you wish to share your happiness with and would be happy for you.
Q. I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate at work, and I can’t eat…and all of this is due to the fact that I’m dating my best friend’s boyfriend behind her back. This has been going on for a while, in the middle of her telling me that he’s acting strange towards her and she believes he’s seeing another woman. I know I’m being deceitful, but I can’t help myself. He wants to end his relationship with her, and be with me, but I can’t consent to that and live with myself. I’m thinking about confessing to her and leaving him alone, though I love him and believe he loves me. What would you do?
A. I wouldn’t confess to her, unless she confronted me for the truth. But I would end the relationship with him. Betrayal is a tough pill to swallow, and what a person doesn’t know can’t hurt them.
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