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Bonita’s Blog

by Bonita Bennett

You!  Tainted Or Not?

            My friend’s looks and charisma are so striking that whenever he walks into a room, both men and women turned to stare.   I’ve witnessed women of all shapes and sizes hang off the rafters with baited breath for their moment to be chosen, and he tried to accommodate as many who fit his criteria.  But as I watched him from afar, I always held the thought that he was searching for something, and he knew what he was looking for.

            In the ten years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him with a woman who could be described as anything other than gorgeous or beautiful.  Therefore, I was shocked when he invited me to dinner to announce that he was getting married, (for the first time at the age of 43) and to meet his intended.  To my surprise, she was not of the movie star genre he was usually seen with, though she was attractive.  But she had a magnetic quality that drew you in to indulge the essence of her personality.  She was spirited, gracious and very self-assured. 

            When I spoke with him the next day, I asked curiously how he came about his choice with so many to choose from.  With a tinge of excitement in his voice, he explained that she had the one thing that he had always searched for in a woman, but could never find…an untainted spirit.  He went on to expound on how his quest for a woman with an untainted consciousness had ended abruptly when he met her in the local supermarket..

            Later, I thought about the power of his statement, and I began to reflect on my own circle of souls, in search of those who could qualify for such a label.  However, it soon became apparent that I had to first consider the characteristics of an “untainted spirit” and I came to these conclusions…to name a few.

            An “untainted spirit” is one who is prone to lie, hold grudges, criticize easily, and possesses a tongue that can speak both blessings and cursings.  This person can be cynical, unforgiving, a flaw finder, bitter from past experiences, judgmental, manipulative, disloyal and prone to pessimism.

            An “untainted spirit” on the other hand, has an open heart and mind, is confident of what he/she brings to the table, and walks the talk, while seeking the good in others.  This person usually has a controlled tongue, clear motives, pure thoughts, a loyal disposition, a kind and forgiving spirit, a bad memory, real integrity and no interest in negative discussions.  They trust until given cause not to…and love until it fails.  They view the world from a silk cushion, regardless of what they can afford, and see it as a place of wonder and opportunity, regardless of their experiences.  They hope for the best, give the benefit of the doubt and hold no grudges.  They are also genuine, trustworthy, frank and unconstrained.  Through reflection, I realized that I could only apply this label to a few deserving souls in my world.

            The problem is that in today’s society, it seems more people are consumed with all things pleasurable, suitable attention from a desired source, and the superficialities of life, which includes fine cars, fine clothes and good financial standing.  Though some of these things are worthy pursuits, we all should be more concerned with what’s in our hearts and might need to consider submitting ourselves to a “washing of our souls.”  Some questions could be mulled over. Is there some debris from the past that is being carried around and needs to go?  Have we forgiven and forgotten?  Since our experiences help shape who we are, this effort could give rise to a new personal standard of excellence and expectancy for good in one’s life.

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