My boyfriend refuses to introduce me as his girlfriend when we’re in public.
by Sarah Smart
January 17, 2018
Q. I love my boyfriend, but he insists on introducing me as his friend, and I resent it. When we argue about it, he says he’s too old. (He’s 37) to be referring to someone as his girlfriend. To him, that’s a term for teenagers. When I suggested that he refer to me as his woman, he said that word wasn’t his style. (He’s a well-respected attorney who is very image-conscious). What would you do? I feel reduced and embarrassed every time he says it and he refuses to compromise.
A. Maybe this is a time for you to evaluate if this love is mutual. After all, love is a compromise, and your boyfriend seems to care more about his image or personal style than your feelings. If it were me, I wouldn’t place myself in a position again to be referred to as anyone to him, until he changed his “style.”
Q. I am dating a guy fifteen years younger and I am crazy about him. I’m 35 and he’s 20. However, most times, I can’t enjoy him in public, because I’m so self-conscious about the difference in our ages. Recently at a party, I accidentally overheard his friend refer to me as “the old lady” and I haven’t been able to go out with him since. He claims he really cares and he doesn’t care what others think. But I can’t take the stares or comments anymore. Should I end the relationship since I’m no longer comfortable.?
A. I think you’re being ridiculous. Who cares who’s older than who? (By the way, where I come from, the term “old lady” has nothing to do with age. It was generally used to identify a man’s wife or honey.) Pull yourself together and try to see what he obviously sees…and that’s a woman who he wants to be with.
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