SingleScenes

My boyfriend refuses to introduce me as his girlfriend when we’re in public.

by Sarah Smart

January 17, 2018

Q.  I love my boyfriend, but he insists on introducing me as his friend, and I resent it.  When we argue about it, he says he’s too old. (He’s 37) to be referring to someone as his girlfriend.  To him, that’s a term for teenagers.  When I suggested that he refer to me as his woman, he said that word wasn’t his style.  (He’s a well-respected attorney who is very image-conscious). What would you do?  I feel reduced and embarrassed every time he says it and he refuses to compromise.

A.  Maybe this is a time for you to evaluate if this love is mutual.  After all, love is a compromise, and your boyfriend seems to care more about his image or personal style than your feelings.  If it were me, I wouldn’t place myself in a position again to be referred to as anyone to him, until he changed his “style.”
Q.  I am dating a guy fifteen years younger and I am crazy about him.  I’m 35 and he’s 20.  However, most times, I can’t enjoy him in public, because I’m so self-conscious about the difference in our ages.  Recently at a party, I accidentally overheard his friend refer to me as “the old lady” and I haven’t been able to go out with him since.  He claims he really cares and he doesn’t care what others think.  But I can’t take the stares or comments  anymore.  Should I end the relationship since I’m no longer comfortable.?

A.  I think you’re being ridiculous.  Who cares who’s older than who?   (By the way, where I come from, the term “old lady” has nothing to do with age.  It was generally used to identify a man’s wife or honey.)  Pull yourself together and try to see what he obviously sees…and that’s a woman who he wants to be with.
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