I’m set to marry my long-time fiancee next month, but I’ve changed my mind, and I don’t know how to tell her.
by Sarah Smart
March 7, 2018
Q. I’m set to marry next month, and I’ve changed my mind. There is no one I can talk to about this, and I don’t know what to do. I realize now that I’m really not in love, and I don’t want to break my fiancé’s heart. She has waited for me a long time, but I can’t go through with the wedding. I’ve been thinking about just not showing up at the altar because I can’t bear to tell her. Got any suggestions?
A. Either way, you’re going to break her heart. Therefore, you have to consider which way is the less hurtful. A no-show at the altar is hurtful, embarrassing, confusing and misleading. No communication leaves room for wild speculation. If you tell her before the wedding, you spare her the undue anguish of standing at the altar alone waiting on you, on what she hopes to be the best day of her life.
Q. I just found out that my closest friend is dating my sister’s husband. I accidentally bumped into them at a Bar B Que joint way across town. My brother-in-law was embarrassed and begged me not to tell my sister, while my friend was arrogant and unashamed. I don’t know what to do, because I don’t want to hurt my sister by telling her, but I hate the fact that her husband is deceiving her. I severed my ties with my girlfriend on the spot. What would you do?
A. I’d tell my sister, and allow her to have the option of knowing the truth and making a decision on it. To not tell her, would make you a part of the deception.
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