by Sarah Smart
Q. My boyfriend and I had the biggest falling out at a party recently because he left my side to dance with an ex-girlfriend who used to harass me over him. I was so angry that I left the party. I have not seen him since and he has been calling to say that I over-reacted and that I was being childish. I think what he did was rude and disrespectful, and I never want to see him again. My friends all agree with him. What do you think?
A. I think you’re right. His actions were rude and disrespectful, and if I were in your shoes, I would never go near him again.
Q. I am engaged to a woman I met five months ago and I have a serious problem. When we met the romance was fast, head-spinning, and unlike anything, I’ve ever experienced. I thought I had finally found the right woman. But things begin to turn for the worse when different quirks began to show in her personality. She calls me at odd hours of the night to see if I’m home. One night, she was sitting on my doorstep when I got in late from work, with a gun in her purse. My dilemma is that I am ready to call off the engagement and I think she might turn violent. The other night she screamed obscenities at me when I put her on hold for another call. I know I can’t hide from a person who may be disturbed. What can you suggest?
A. You’re right. If you fear bodily harm, I would suggest two things. One, if you believe in God, Tell her, with all the kindness you can muster, that the engagement is off because you feel like you made a hasty decision and you’ve decided that you don’t want to get married right now. Then trust God to protect you, and go to the police station and get an order of protection. I would also do all I can to protect myself up to and including carrying pepper spray.
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