My fiance’s brother is pressuring me to sleep with him before the wedding. Should I tell my fiance?
by Sarah Smart
January 2, 2018
Q. I’m scheduled to get married next month and my fiance’s brother is pressuring me to sleep with him before the wedding. He says he won’t leave me alone until I do. I am very attracted to him and confused about my own feelings. I love my fiancé, but I’m intrigued by his brother. I don’t know what to do. Should I call the wedding off, because I feel deceitful or should I tell my fiance about his brother’s actions?
A. First of all, you shouldn’t get married because you’re not in love. If you were in love, you would not be attracted to the groom’s brother and concerned about resisting him. It goes without saying that his scruples or morals are either non-existent or away on holiday. However, you should forego the opportunity to feel low down and dirty, which is what you would feel after you engaged in such a shameful act before marrying his brother, and more than likely with the chemistry being as strong as you describe, you would end up sneaking around with him after you marry. Cancel the wedding by telling your fiancé the truth…which is you’re not ready to get married. Period.
Q. I work with two guys who sit across from each other. One is all over me every time I pass his desk, and the other one just stares at me with veiled interest and then turns away when I stare back. The one who flirts with me does not interest me. I like the one who never opens his mouth. I’ve tried flirting with him, but he pretends he doesn’t get it. I believe, through my womanly instincts, that he likes me too, but is deferring to his friend through some sort of “male code of ethics.” My girlfriend says I should slip him a note and invite him for drinks. The only thing is I don’t do well with rejection. What do you think?
A. I say…what do you have to lose? Just be sure you put your ego in check to be able to stand the risk in case he turns you down. He may or may not be interested. However, you must be careful not to be too aggressive. Make sure your note is creative, imaginative and funny. Just remember, when you make “big girl” moves, you must have “big girl” nerves.
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