FACT: More Men Are Victims Than Ever Before.
June 19, 2018
by Coco Diong
FACT #1: Singles (men and women) often suffer silently in abusive relationships and no one really talks about it. I discovered this when I recently attended a singles women’s conference and one of the speakers called for those in the room who had suffered physical abuse in non-marital relationships to stand. I was shocked when at least half of the women in the room stood, including my friend who was sitting next to me. (There were over 300 women in attendance) It turned out that she had been in an abusive relationship for over two years and was too embarrassed to tell anyone. She confessed she was too scared to end the relationship because she was afraid he would kill her. I knew firsthand what she meant. Several years ago, my neighbor broke off with an abusive boyfriend. A month later, he waited for her in the parking lot where she worked, and shot her to death in front of her co-workers.
FACT #2: Many singles who are being abused in relationships don’t necessarily see themselves as victims. Domestic violence is not only physical and sexual abuse, it can also be emotional and psychological abuse.
FACT #3: Domestic violence is about one person in a relationship using a pattern of behaviors to control the other person. In the state of Michigan, police records show that in one year over 5000 cases of domestic violence were reported, and in that same year a woman was killed by a partner or former partner about once a week.
FACT #4: Domestic violence crosses all class, cultures, religion and age categories. It can happen to anyone. Studies show that one in three American women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or a boyfriend at some point in their lives.
FACT #5: According to FBI files, in one year, 30% of all female murder victims were killed by their husband or boyfriends. There are many reasons why women don’t leave abusive relationships. According to The US Department of Justice, leaving can be dangerous and it has been found that the most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave the relationship.
FACT #6: Although more cases are being reported of men being abused in relationships, most of the victims are women. Statistics show that police reports across the country are showing cases of single men being abused by jealous girlfriends, ex-wives, or women who were rejected. Several reports showed men being stalked by former wives or girlfriends, who used the legal system to harass them with domestic violence charges that were false. They would take out restraining orders, follow them, and then call the police to file the complaint that they had violated the order. Studies show that in the cases of men being abused, younger women are the most violent of all with upwards of 30% or more teenage and college-age women reporting that they initiated violence in their relationships.
FACT #7: Stalking is more prevalent today than ever according to police reports. Stalking is repeated harassment that makes one feel scared or upset. It is also a crime.
If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic violence or stalking, please call the Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 942-6906, which offers help and counseling 24 hours a day.