The Story Of The Week – “Never Again!”

The Story Of The Week

“Never Again!”

by Carl Mendell

I had always thought that blind dates were for people who couldn’t attract others on their own.  As a kid growing up, I had an aunt who was rather plain, whom everyone in the family was always trying to fix up with a blind date.  Therefore, when my friend suggested a blind date with his cousin, I wasn’t interested.

“Man, you’ve been trying to meet someone nice for a long time and without any success.  Why don’t you try being formally introduced for a change, instead of taking a chance on the hit and miss action of the clubs.”

 I winced in silence.  I had been looking to meet someone nice for a long time, but I wasn’t lonely or desperate enough to get stuck with a blind date.  I had been on one blind date when I was in the service and the experience had never left my memory bank.

I was twenty-two and on leave from Ft. Benning in Georgia and very lonely, which was why I was willing to go anywhere and do anything to meet some girls.  When a buddy who lived in the area, suggested a blind date with him and his girlfriend, I agreed without question or reservation.

However, the girl turned out to be extremely overweight and obsessed with eating.  She was so unattractive, that I spent the whole evening flinching every time I looked at her.  I sat watching her as she sat and ate burger after burger and stared at me like I was a piece of meat.  When we got up to leave, she stomped on my foot as hard as she could and accused me of ignoring her all night. I couldn’t put on a shoe for two days.  The memory of that evening was enough to discourage me from ever going on another blind date.

 But I had second thoughts, when my friend called the next night and asked again. I decided to go because I was tired of picking and choosing at the usual spots and I hadn’t met anyone of interest lately.

 We were set up to meet at his house, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to go through the evening if the girl was a dog. I even came prepared with a good excuse to leave.  However, when the door opened, I was greeted by one of the prettiest women I’ve seen in awhile and I relaxed.

 She had a sparkling personality and I was immediately impressed.  The evening went well as we laughed and talked and discovered our common interests.  Our admiration seemed to be mutual and for a change, I was enjoying the company of a woman who had the ability to hold my attention span longer than ten minutes.

 When she asked me to give her a lift home, I was ecstatic.  I was anxious to enjoy her company in the privacy of my car, away from the curious eyes of our friends, but I wasn’t prepared for what occurred, when we pulled away from the curb.  Suddenly, she changed from a refined diva type to a wild woman.  She moved over on me and began stroking my hair and face while she whispered seductively in my ear, which naturally caused a stir of excitement on my part.  However, when she began rubbing my leg and using lewd language to express her plans when we reached her apartment, my excitement evaporated.

When we arrived at her door, and I informed her that I had an early morning and I wouldn’t be going up, she called me an ugly name and slammed my car door.  Needless to say, that was my last blind date in this life. As I drove away, I was proud of myself that for once I allowed my common sense to overrule my loins, which was made easier by my fear of contracting a STD.  I learned the hard way that over-eager partners can also be deadly partners.