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The “Perfect Stranger”
Why She’s So Hard To Find …

by Brent Stevens

Recently, after watching the game with a few of the fellows we decided to grab something to eat.   At dinner, the topic segued from sports to women to “finding the perfect match” complaints. One complaint was unanimous. The ideal woman was hard to find and a well-balanced woman is harder to find.  Here are some quotable excerpts:

  • Tom – “Most women I meet are so inhibited, they couldn’t even comprehend how to enjoy or be enjoyed. All their hang-ups and past experiences are blocking the way.”
  • Hank – “Finding a woman with good self-esteem has been difficult for me. Most women I meet are too willing to compromise themselves and their principles to be what they think I want..”
  • Gene – “I find that many professional Black women are usually possessive of very strong personalities, which is okay, except a man appreciates a woman who can combine that strength with some form of weakness that indicates her need for him.”
  • Ron – “My problem is finding a woman who can hold my attention span longer than two months. Finding an interesting, unscathed, intelligent, and charming woman has been close to impossible.”

As I listened, I realized that my experience had been somewhat different. Through various encounters with a number of women, I found most to be very suspicious and guarded towards black men.  The reasons were varied, but most I encountered had lots of emotional baggage or an unforgettable tale of self-inflicted woe.  Unfortunately, they did not view it as such. But I also think that as men, we have a tendency to look for and subconsciously expect perfection in a woman and she doesn’t exist.

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