Be A Good
By Abigail Dye
February 1, 2018
Meeting someone new in a social setting can be awkward, vulnerable and embarrassing. A saving grace that never fails the tongue-tied one-liner, is the noble wingman. Pedro to Napoleon Dynamite, Barney Stinson to Ted, Robin to Batman and Luigi to Mario – all pop culture wings that not only helped save the day – but seal the deal. Wing-men and wing-women are always appreciated and plenty of bragging rights come with being a successful Hitch. Here are the seven rules to building a successful wingdom.
Don’t Wing Out Of Your League.
This is a hard but true rule. If you are significantly better looking than the person you are “winging” for, it is not going to go well. Instead of getting your friend a date, you are going to end up the center of attention – and probably drunk arguing with your friend by the end of the night. A way around this is telling any potential subjects you meet that night that you are in a serious relationship. You’ll be taking a bullet, but every good wing man does that.
Pump It Up.
The most important piece of this wing-role, is to be a cheerleader. You have to boost your friends’ confidence before sending them out on the field. This will ultimately make your job easier in the long run. Compliment them, help them feel sexy, poised and invincible. This mean give them a shot, a pep talk and a fist-bump.
Spruce It Up.
Next up, keep your friend crisp and clean. If the person you’re winging for is a girl, make sure her makeup stays fresh. Keep her hair in place and keep an eye on her clothes – no unzipped zippers, exposed bras or tags sticking out. As for men, make sure their hygiene is on point. Carry some cologne, breath mints and maybe even a comb if you’re going for Wing Of The Year. For both genders, it is EXTREMELY important that you keep them somewhat sober.
Establish A Code.
To be able to have a successful night, you need to be able to communicate with your friend. To avoid the awkward “I don’t like them, let’s leave” public conversation, it’s good to have a working code. It’s very simple, just establish a word or phrase that indicates you need to bail. It is important to read your friends’ body language, as well as the person of interest. If the girl or guy your friend is hitting on seems to be uncomfortable or not into it, it is your job as the wing to initiate the bail. Nothing is worse than talking to someone all night to leave alone, or be labeled a creep.
Talking your friend up is a big part of the deal. You need to mention their glory, introduce them, then chill out. If you’re in this person of interest’s face telling them a detailed story about your friend’s heroism, you are stealing the spotlight. Mention that your friend is a great cook, or how they can be kind and generous, then leave it at that. After you have your friend talking to someone they’re interested in and all is smooth, there is no reason for you to intervene. This is one of the harder parts of the job, you don’t get in on the action – you just supervise it.
Deflect The Interception.
If you fail at this, you fail your friend and you fail as a wing. Once you get your friend in a vibe with a subject you get to sit back and relax – until another receiver enters your zone. A receiver could be a person interested in your friend, another person interested in the subject or a person who wants the subject to go home alone. As a wing, you need to deflect that stuff. Intervene immediately in a way that requires all the receivers’ attention, and pull them away. This may mean you get stuck talking to someone who annoys you all night, but that’s just what a true wing does.
As a wing, you need to understand this night is not about you. It is easy to get jealous, lonely or spiteful – after all your friend is getting all the action. But, as a wing, you need to be cool and play the role. Under no circumstances can you black-out, leave your friend, embarrass them or not have their back. Your time will come when the roles reverse, but for now be the wing you would want by your side. You have to bite the bullet sometimes, but a true wing never goes unappreciated.