by G.G. Faulkner
It was two days before my birthday, and the first time since my divorce, I was faced with a crisis. I was dating two women and I wasn’t sure who I wanted to spend the day with. The one thing about being married is that you never have to worry about who you’re spending a special day with.
Dana called and wanted to know what I wanted for my birthday. I knew it was her subtle way of letting me know she expected to spend the day with me. Then, Lisa called later to remind me that “we” were invited to a dinner party the night before my birthday. It kills me the way she refers to us as if we’re married or scheduled to be. I know if I spend that evening with her, I won’t be able to unhinge myself from her grip for the next day.
I’ve got myself in a fix because I can’t make up my mind which one, if either, I want to be with for my birthday. At this moment, I’m seeing two women. This time last month, I was “involved” with three women.
Elana, however, was somewhat on the fringes because I didn’t see her that often. She knew I wasn’t ready to be serious, and unlike the others, she never pressed me to be. She seemed to understand or didn’t care that I was seeing other women. She never appeared ruffled in the least, when my phone would ring off the hook when we were together. However, she became very angry when I got my dates screwed up, and accidentally stood her up on her birthday.
I didn’t realize what I’d done until I got home the next day from Dana’s and heard her voicemail wondering where I was. Unlike the others, though Elana was the most exciting, she wouldn’t sleep with me. Therefore, I was never pressed to spend time with her and I hadn’t talked to her since that unfortunate incident. She told me to never call her again, but I haven’t felt right since. I deeply regret making her angry. She’s a beautiful soul, and I miss her spirit.
Lisa is the highly emotional one and the prettiest with a personality that can sometimes be a little brash. However, she’s unpredictable and I like that. Dana, on the other hand, is quiet, doting, and mystically convinced, (though never spoken.) that I’m her future husband. She is truly a “designing woman,” who is always planning “fun outings” to visit model homes and antique shops. There is something about her that reminds me in a good way of my ex-wife.
It’s odd. Elana was the first woman since my divorce that I felt a strong attraction for. Sometimes I felt like I was falling in love with her. I wasn’t sure. Right now, my head is muddled. The good thing is that I have spoken no words that would indicate my commitment to anyone. I realize that despite expectations, I am a free agent. I can go and come as I please. I decide to call Elana. I wonder will she talk to me?
The Next Day: After two hours on the phone with Elana last night, who told me she never wanted to see me again until I got my head on straight, I asked her to marry me. I knew I loved her, as soon as I heard her voice. I’ve been miserable this past month without her, and I didn’t know why. I did not plan to propose to her. It just happened. It caught me by surprise. I realize after I purged my soul, that she was all I could ever want in a woman. I ended up spending my birthday with her.