by Theo McNee
September 24, 2018
Too Nice guys really do finish last. I ought to know because I used to be one.
I asked a group of women who agreed that guys who are too nice just don’t cut the grade, to describe what it is that makes a guy fall on his “sword” in his search for romance.
Here are a few of the answers that made me wince.
Sheryl – “Nice guys try too hard. They work too hard to impress you with their sweetness or pliability. Your time is their time. There is no mystique. After awhile, you get bored.”
Nedra – “They tell you too much about them too soon in the relationship. They leave nothing to the imagination. They usually lack excitement or the ability to inspire a woman to follow their lead.”
Marianne – “Your opinions become their opinions. They walk and let you ride. There is usually no meat to their personality. They put you on a pedestal with saliva dripping from their mouths, and their expectations for attention can be overwhelming.”
Diane – “They lean too much on the “give her anything she wants” theory to win you over. We all are looking for someone who has an interest in pleasing, but it can’t be obsessive and their only quality.”
Doreen – “A guy should have some sort of mysterious aspect to his personality. It is one of the main characteristics that make him interesting. When a man lacks this trait, you feel that there is nothing magical to discover about him.”
Barbara – “These guys have a tendency to grapple too soon for your undying affection. The hunger is evident in their eyes and their manner. They take accommodating to new heights. I want a man who has a life other than me.”
Laura – “With the nice guy whatever you do is ok. They have a tendency to be too agreeable. I need a man who is going to challenge me mentally.”
Cindy – “I have found that guys who lack confidence are more attracted to difficult women who give them a hard way to go. They shy away from women who are as “nice” as they are. They view them as boring. .”
Debbie – “Guys who are ‘too nice’ are seldom attractive or believe they are. Many seem to feel that they have to become slaves to merit a woman’s affection. Every little wish becomes their command, which they think adds to their likeability, but in actuality it doesn’t.”
Joan – “I think there should be charm school for guys who lack self confidence, where they can learn what women like and don’t like.”
After interviewing these women, I understood, why most of my relationships, (before my transformation) ended against my wishes. I was a nice guy who called sent flowers just because, and wore my feelings on my sleeve. When I met someone I became devoted to what we were doing. I showed up and on time. I aimed high to please and put my money where my affections were. But when I stopped, things changed.
I began taking lessons from my cousin, whose phone never stops ringing, and in an instant I began reaping the benefits. The first time a woman called and wanted to know why she hadn’t heard from me, I couldn’t stop laughing. It felt good to be pursued for a change.