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Now That

You’ve Met Him

12 Things To Watch For…

by Jovan Tahale

November 13, 2018

  1. Pay close attention to all things he says or does. It’s healthy to be paranoid, until you know him better.  Be sure to let him know you’re cautious and leery of people you don’t know well.
  2. Develop an “Intimacy Principle” and stick to it. Sex in these times should no longer be a frivolous act.  Sexually transmitted diseases and domestic violence acts too often occur two-three months after initial meeting.
  3. If he does something weird or strange once, don’t go back for a second look. Leave him be.  Consider what you saw or heard as a warning!  Don’t dismiss it as un-important or temporary.
  4. Investigate! Ask around and see if anyone else knows him.  Try to get as much information as possible on him, before you get seriously involved.
  5. Never press pass your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t.  My friend’s new boyfriend offered me a ride one night from a party she was hosting, and I hesitated, because it didn’t feel right.  But I accepted anyway, because I needed a ride, and he ended up trying to rape me in front of my house.  I ended up burning him with a cigarette lighter to get out of his car.
  6. Don’t rush to bring him home. Wait until you’re sure, he’s not a madman.  One friend dated a guy for five weeks who climbed through her window one night and surprised her in bed, after she had broken up with him.  He ran when she called the police, but it could have turned out much worse.
  7. Be careful of what you tell him about you. Don’t get too personal too soon.  Remember, the details of your life in the wrong hands could be a serious mistake.
  8. Take an anxiety pill. Don’t be so anxious for this one to be the one.  Take time to get to know him, before you get emotionally charged up.  Let him prove himself to be worthy of your time and affection.
  9. Always ask him, why he broke up with his last love interest.
  10. If you have children, don’t expose strangers to your child too soon.  One new boyfriend took a woman’s child toy shopping and didn’t return for two days.
  11. Don’t be starry-eyed and quick to believe everything he says. Wait and observe cautiously.  Pay attention to the details of his conversation.
  12. Don’t keep him to yourself, when you first meet.  Make sure your friends meet him, and seek their assessments.  They may see something you don’t.

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