Regrets

The Dating Chronicles

Regrets

September 15, 2018

Gil was out in the crowd, but he didn’t want to be.  As he looked around the club, he saw all the vacant familiar faces of those, like himself, who didn’t have anything better to do.  The loud music was not helping to drown out his misery.  He was despondent over the news about Cindy.  Cindy, who had been in his life for the last five years, had gotten married the day before, and he hadn’t been to sleep since he’d heard the news.  Unfortunately, his love for Phyllis had kept him from making a commitment to Cindy.

Phyllis had been his first love and he had never been able to shake the memory of the passion they shared. They had promised to love each other forever, but when she went off to college, she fell in love with another man.  He had heard that Phyllis was single now and back in town after all these years, and he still ached to hear her voice.

For three years, Cindy had begged him to marry her, but he realized that he could never marry anyone as long as Phyllis was still out there somewhere, though he didn’t know where.  It had been ten years since he’d seen her and he wondered if she looked the same.

He gazed over at the two women sitting across from him.  One was tall and thin.  The other was short and thin.  He liked thin women, but he found neither of them attractive.  Phyllis had been the exception with her voluptuous body, short curls, and sparkling smile.

Gil glanced again at the two women.  The taller one isn’t that bad, he thought to himself.  Suddenly, he felt like company.  He got up from his seat, to head their way, but sat back down when he saw two other guys approach the table.  He looked around the room again, and saw a woman sitting alone.  Her back was to him.  He couldn’t tell what she looked like, but by that time, he didn’t care.  He just wanted someone to talk to.  He got up and approached the table.  He hoped she was alone and perhaps as lonely as he was.

However, before he reached the table, the woman turned around and he almost stumbled when he saw it was Phyllis.  She didn’t see him and he was stunned by the stark difference in her appearance.  She looked washed out and haggard with stringy hair hanging in her eyes.  He backed away in disgust and regret for all the years he had wasted thinking about a woman who no longer existed as he’d known her.