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Point Of View

When Not

To Compromise

In Relationships…

by Dani Phillips

June 20, 2018

It’s hard enough to make decisions for yourself, so when you add another person into the mix it’s understandable that things get increasingly complicated.   Relationships aren’t easy. Compromises must be made varying from what movie to watch on a Friday night to where you are going to raise a family. After college, many couples choose to relocate to wherever they can find a suitable job. This will often times bring them a ways from home. If they happen to meet their significant other during this time, the couples may have to eventually decide where they will put down roots. Will the boy be okay with heading back to the girl’s hometown or vice versa?    So, how do couples decide what to do when it comes to these big life altering decisions?

The key is compromise.  Each individual in a relationship must assess how important their partner is to them as opposed to being close to their family and friends or accepting a tempting job offer. If a job sounds more appealing than your loved one or you think you might end up resenting them for making you forfeit such an opportunity, this may not be the right relationship for you. Although walking away may seem difficult in the moment, you will likely eventually meet someone with whom you do not need to choose. Sometimes, on the other hand, walking away from a dream job might be difficult but not nearly as painful as living the rest of your life apart from your partner. In this case, it is time to compromise.

If you always pictured a future consisting of children and white picket fences, then being with someone who has no intention of parenting a child may not be the right choice. Although your love for them may be satisfactory in the moment, in the long run, you may grow bitter due to the major sacrifices you had to make. The opposite is also true. If you do not want kids and your partner does, having them resent you for not providing the life they planned might become more painful than terminating the relationship now. When it comes to important things like kids and family, sometimes compromises simply can’t be made. Maybe you aren’t willing to walk away from your family no matter how much your boyfriend hates them. Maybe you would be utterly miserable in the suburbs despite how badly your partner wants to relocate. And that’s OK!    It’s okay to say no to compromise when it seems to be too much. It is also okay to make sacrifices when being with your loved one seems to outweigh anything which you might have to give up in the process. The key is to stay true to yourself all the while and never compromise who you truly are along the way.


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