Viewpoints: When Women Do The Pursuing…

Viewpoints…

When Women Do The Pursuing …

by Dani Stone

Recently, a close friend asked a very attractive co-worker, whom she’d been admiring for quite some time, if he would join her for drinks after work, and he declined the offer.  Of course, her ego took a serious plunge, and she berated herself for two days because she felt she had set herself up for rejection.  However, I’ve found that the times and attitudes have become such that more and more women are asserting themselves on the dating scene, and some are getting great results.  I talked to a number of men and women on this subject and they were candid.

Kerry – 38 – “I wouldn’t mind a woman asking me out if she were attractive.  But, I’ve only been asked out by unattractive women.  But I think most men find it hard to reject a woman outright.  And I think most men are taken aback a bit when a woman makes that kind of step.  Also, because I’m somewhat old-fashioned, I think I prefer to do the chasing.”

Cherrie -29 – “I asked a guy at work to go to a basketball game and I’ll never do it again. I was uncomfortable all evening.  He knew I liked him, but he pretended that he thought he was being invited under the banner of friendship.  All evening, he avoided my eyes and my getting-to-know-you questions. Now I know how a guy feels when he asks a woman out for the first time.  I have never felt so rejected in my life.”

Carl – 33 – “I like it when a woman has enough confidence to ask me out, and I have been asked out quite often.  But I must admit that I have never developed a serious relationship with a woman who approached me.  I don’t think it’s psychological.  I think it’s just coincidental.”

Martin – 43 – “I like it when a woman approaches me.  it makes me feel wanted and desired without effort.  But I have to confess that I prefer to do the whole approach thing.  I am not comfortable switching roles with a woman. To be an escort is one thing, to initiate romance is another.”

Clara – 32 – “I asked a guy out once who seemed genuinely flattered.  But he turned me down, saying he had a girlfriend who would not approve of him being out with another woman.  I was so embarrassed that I backed down a flight of stairs. That was my first and last time asking a guy out.”

Sandy – 33 – “Nowadays, a woman can’t wait to be approached.  There is just too much competition out there.  I ask guys out all the time and I have never been turned down.  My ego is in check before I broach the subject.  I find that some men are very intimidated by attractive women.  They feel we have so many guys after us, that they fear rejection.  I find that my approach makes it easier for us to get together.  However, once I initiate the date, I let him initiate everything else.”

Jack – 40 -“I am uncomfortable with a woman approaching me.  I’ve had two experiences with women at work.  One was very lonely, and the other asked if I would be her date at a black-tie affair.  I turned both of them down because I didn’t want my consent to go, to be misinterpreted.”

Meryl – 28 – “I will ask a guy out, but only when I think he’s somewhat interested.  If he’s a little slow on making a move, I’ll take the first step.  But as a rule, I think a woman with a strong ego and a wealth of confidence is the only one equipped enough to make the first move!”