SingleScenes – 4-1-19

SingleScenes

My blind date and I didn’t click because her teeth were in bad shape.  Now, she insisting I tell her why we didn’t click. What would you do?

by Sarah Smart

April 1, 2019

Q.  I met a woman on a blind date and found her to be nice, but not my type. Before the evening ended, she told me she liked me and she hoped the feeling was mutual.  I smiled, but kept silent.  I wasn’t about to create any false hope.  The evening ended with me being evasive to her hints of us seeing each other again..  However, she began calling the next day.  When I didn’t return her calls, she wrote me a letter asking me to tell her specifically what it was about her that I didn’t like.  Her letter had a very serious tone and expressed a sincere desire to know why I wasn’t interested.  But I don’t want to hurt her feelings.  One thing I would like to tell her about is the poor condition of her teeth, which I found very distracting and the roughness of her hands.  Do you think I should?

A. I believe that since she asked and you believe she is sincere in wanting to understand why she was rejected, you should find the kindest way possible to tell her what she needs to know. I am a strong supporter of giving people information that will make them better, but it must be done with compassion, and in the name of friendship.  Gently tell her that she would enhance her appearance greatly, if she saw a good dentist and then be prepared to recommend one.  I wouldn’t mention the rough hands.  I think that would be too much for her to handle.  My male colleagues say…leave it alone…because you may have a potential stalker on your hands.

Q.  If you went out on a first date with a great looking guy who didn’t hold the door for you, didn’t get out of his car to open the door for you to get in, drove away as soon as you got out of his car, but took you to the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever been to, would you go out with him again and overlook his poor manners?

A.  Never!.