Highlights From The Last Bachelor Breakfast

We’re Doing It Again!

Highlights From The Last Bachelor Breakfast

Real Men – Real Talk

by Eliza Bivens Wheeler, Associate Editor

If you weren’t there …you don’t want to miss it again! However, If you were among the  ladies who were able to join us at the last Bachelor Breakfast , then you know first-hand how sizzling the conversation was.  As we examined relationship issues in this cozy and open forum, (8) of Chicago area’s most eligible bachelors spoke candidly to the mostly female audience about women, dating, sex, and settling down.  Our panel of men and the audience agreed this type of open dialogue is vital for the success of relationships within the urban community and abroad.   While we touched on numerous issues, there were several hot topics that stood out and were definitely worthy of note. I can truly say I have more insight on the male’s perspective than I ever had.

Following the introduction of the bachelors,  the women  proceeded with questions focused on initial attraction and dating etiquette. There was an overall consensus that while visual appearance and confidence are things that first evoke a man’s attention, a woman’s intellect and conversation is what maintains his interest.  One bachelor  elaborated even further when he expressed how attractive ambition and drive are when looking at a potential mate.  While some of the men expressed a belief in the old school notion that men should acquire the role of pursuer, just as many felt comfortable with the idea of the woman being the aggressor.

One interesting tidbit we learned from the discussion relates to picking up the tab.  While the bachelors agreed they don‘t typically expect women to finance the date or pay their own way, it’s quite flattering when a woman offers to do so.  Apparently, it shows we have a genuine  interest in him as opposed to an expectation of being sponsored or financed.   Overall, I feel the panel of bachelors re-enforced many notions we already have regarding the laws of attraction and courting.

After the more gentle issues were addressed, we got straight to the nitty gritty.   Many women wanted honest examples of what men consider to be deal-breakers in relationships.  According to the male perspective, the question was asked, why do so many relationships and marriages fail?  In response, the men offered a variety of problems ranging from lack of communication to over- indulgence in alcohol and other drugs.  One bachelor really took the conversation to a deeper level when he discussed how a man needs for his woman to be his cheerleader, best friend, and biggest supporter.   Based on the challenges that men face on a daily basis, they don’t want to come home to another battlefield.   The men also admitted this works both ways.

Among the numerous relationship challenges invoked by the women, cheating proved to be the most controversial deal breaker of all.   While two of our panelists argued monogamy is not a realistic expectation in marriage and otherwise, the vast majority of the men disagreed.   As a group, they felt once a certain level of commitment is agreed upon, neither party is justified in violating that trust.  The panel and the audience agreed while men and women are typically motivated to stray for different reasons, honesty is favored over infidelity.  In short, if the relationship is unfulfilling in some way, be honest and willing to talk about it or leave as opposed to betraying your partner’s trust.

Last, but not least, ALL of our bachelors expressed an interest in settling down, marriage, and family. Yes ladies, we are not alone in our desire for the American Dream, picket fence and all.    One bachelorsummarized it eloquently when he stated he has a desire to settle down with the right woman as opposed to having a general desire to get married.   While marriage,  as an institution may serve as the ultimate goal in many of our dating pursuits, he placed the focus more on an individual  level, as opposed to a general philosophy.  I must admit his perspective makes a great deal of sense.  If we as individuals focus more on connecting to our mates on a spiritual, physical, and emotional level, as opposed to being governed by a supreme need to be with someone, I feel we would have happier, healthier relationships.

Overall, I learned a great deal from our panel of bachelors.  As they opened up to us on various issues concerning the sexes, I was both compelled and entertained by their candidness.  One  bachelor asserted, if a man takes your number, and doesn’t contact you within the next day or so, he probably won’t, because he’s probably not interested.   He stated men are sometimes motivated by ego and perception.  Surprised?  Hopefully, having knowledge of nagging questions like this helps our overall understanding of the intricacies of the male mind.  We’re doing it again because the dialogue is not finished. 

Don’t miss the fun!  See you on Saturday, November 2, 2019 at The 14^th Annual Bachelor Breakfast.  Click here for more details and ticket info.