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ROLE REVERSALblack date 10117

When Women Go

After What They Want…

by Jovan Tahale

Recently, a close friend asked a very attractive co-worker, whom she’d been admiring for quite some time, if he would join her for drinks after work, and he declined the offer.  Of course, her ego took a serious plunge, and she berated herself for two days, because she felt she had set herself up for rejection.  However, I’ve found that the times and attitudes have become such that more and more women are asserting themselves on the dating scene, and some are getting great results.  I talked to a number of men and women on this subject and here are some of their comments.

Kerry – 38 – “I wouldn’t mind a woman asking me out if she were attractive.  But, I’ve only been asked out by unattractive women.  But I think most men find it hard to reject a woman outright.  And I think most men are taken aback a bit, when a woman makes that kind of step.  Also, because I’m somewhat old-fashioned, I think I prefer to do the chasing.”

 Cherrie -29 – “I asked a guy at work to go with me to a basketball game and I’ll never do it again. I was uncomfortable all evening.  He knew I liked him, but he pretended that he thought he was being invited for the sake of friendship.  All evening, he avoided my eyes and my getting to know you questions. Now I know how a guy feels when he asks a woman out for the first time.  I have never felt so rejected in my life.”

Carl – 33 –  “I like it when a woman has enough confidence to ask me out, and I have been asked out quite often.  But I must admit that I have never developed a serious relationship with a woman who approached me.  I don’t think it’s psychological.  I think it’s just coincidental.”

Martin – 43 – “I like it when a woman asks me out.  it makes me feel wanted and desired without effort.  But I have to confess that I prefer to do the asking.  I am not comfortable switching roles with a woman.  To be an escort is one thing, to initiate romance is another.”

 Clara – 32 – “I asked a guy out once who seemed genuinely flattered.  But he turned me down, saying he had a girlfriend who would not approve of him being out with another woman.  I was so embarrassed that I backed all the way down a flight of stairs. That was my first and last time asking a guy out.”

Sandy – 33 – “Nowadays, a woman can’t wait for a man to ask her out.  There is just too much competition out here.  I ask guys out all the time and I have never been turned down.  My ego is in check before I broach the subject.  I have found that some men are very intimidated by attractive women.  They often feel that we have so many guys after us, that they fear rejection.  I find that my approach makes it easier for us to get together.  However, once I initiate the date, I let him initiate everything else.”

Jack – 40 -“I personally am not comfortable with a woman approaching me and asking me out.  I’ve had two experiences with women at work.  One was apparently very lonely and very desperate, and the other one asked if I would be her date at a black tie affair.  I turned both of them down, because I didn’t want my consent to go, to be misinterpreted.”

Meryl – 28 – “I will ask a man out, but only when I think he’s somewhat interested.  If he’s a little slow on making a move, I’ll take the first step.  But as a rule, I think a woman with a strong ego and a wealth of confidence is the only one equipped enough to ask a guy out first!”


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