Posh Party Protocol – How To Get Invited Back

Posh Party Protocol

How To Get Invited Back

by Edward Lamberto

Dress the Part

Wearing clothes that are appropriate to the occasion is very important.  Don’t dress casually when the host has made a great effort to put on an elegant party for you and the other guests.  Under-dressing for an occasion may insult the host and embarrass you.  If you’re unsure about what to wear, ask the host when you respond to the invitation.  And remember: When in doubt, it’s always better to be slightly overdressed than under-dressed.

Give Thoughtfully

Gifts confuse many well-intention guests.  You know that you need to bring something, but what?  When the event consists of friends getting together for a casual dinner or barbecue, bringing food or drink as a gift is fine.    You can take cut flowers as a gift if they’re already in a vase.  Bringing arranged flowers eliminates the host’s need to take time out from greeting guests and making last-minute preparations to find a vase and arrange the cut flowers.   Other excellent gifts include a book, a memento, something that relates to a hobby the host enjoys, or a flowering plant.

Be Self-Sufficient

A host likes nothing better than a self-sufficient guest – one who fearlessly makes introductions with other guests and mixes into conversations easily.  How can you be one of those self-sufficient guests?  Whether the event is business-related or social, paying attention to others is a great way to relax and make the occasion enjoyable.  Listen to what is being said, enter into conversations wholeheartedly, ask questions, and really care about the answers.  People like to talk about themselves.  Questions are a great tool to help quiet or reserved people open up.  Just don’t ask questions that are too personal!  In the right situation, almost any question is acceptable, but in business and social dining occasions, where many people are meeting each other for the first time, avoid questions about religion, income, political preferences, and sex.

Make A Contribution To The Party

A host invites you to a party because he or she thinks that your presence will add something to the event.  That means that the host expects you to contribute to the conversation and mix and mingle with the other guests.  No matter how awful your day was, never look downtrodden, have a dour look on your face, or act bored.   Inform yourself about current events before you go to the party.  Read at least one newspaper and one news magazine, or at least scan the news headlines.  Don’t forget the sports and arts pages, too!  Bring up current topics during the first conversational lull.  The other guests will be grateful that you filled the silence, and they’re likely to follow your lead.

Exit Gracefully

Before you leave a party, say goodbye to the host.  It’s important that you seek out the host to shake hands, hug, or kiss (depending on your familiarity with that person) and offer your thanks for the party.  If there is more than one host, seek out and thank each of them individually.

If the host is busy, wait until he or she has a free moment.  If the host isn’t available and you absolutely must leave without saying goodbye, make sure to call and say thank you the next day.

Send A Thank-You Note

After attending a party or other function, send a thank-you note within a week – even better, send it within 24 hours, while the event is still fresh in your mind.  If you don’t think that you can get a note in the mail, call the host.  But thank-you notes make you look good and show the host respect.  Simply saying thank you as you leave the event is not enough.   Writing a thank-you note takes only a few minutes at the most.  Most thank-you notes contain no more than three lines.  Using the excuse that you don’t have time to write a thank-you note is not acceptable – think of all the time and effort that the host spent putting the party together!