Viewpoint – Relationships: What’s Really Important To You?

Viewpoint

Relationships: What’s Really

Important To You?

by Candace Lanier

How important is the opinion of others to you?  I used to have a friend who valued her image and things more than people. She had an alcoholic brother, who had to come to her back door whenever he visited because she was concerned about him being seen by her very upscale neighbors.  Yet, she would sneak in the rear door of her neighbor’s palatial home, whenever his wife traveled out of town, regardless of what neighbors she ran into.

One former neighbor, a single parent, valued her relationships with men more than her relationships with her children.   If her child was in a play at school on the same day she had a date, she’d go on the date. She also allowed her “boyfriend of the moment” to discipline her children, “to make sure he felt included..”

One friend has four safety deposit boxes, where she keeps all her valuables locked away because she fears someone may break into her home. Yet, she will complain profusely about bad treatment after giving her body away to any glib stranger with a shiny resume.

I’ve met too many women who are what I call “man-pleasers.” They hop readily into relationships eager to please and forfeit themselves for a little company. It seems that few women feel that their needs are important enough to state out loud when they encounter a man with romantic potential.  This is evident by the growing populace of women who go into relationships with their heads in the sky, their hearts on their sleeves, and their hopes in the hands of the object of their affection.  For these women, their value is determined by a man’s acceptance, approval, or rejection, and oftentimes this behavior stems from psychological injuries from childhood.

I know men, who value their cars and other possessions more than their own seeds. They have children, who cry out for their love and affection, but they don’t hear them because they are not around, and they don’t care to be.  Often, this is because their fathers weren’t around or cared to be.

What about you?   What’s really important to you, and is it in sync with your actions?  What would others say, if they were asked this question about you? Think about it.