Point Of View
by S. Pinchard
April 13, 2018
Not too long ago, I walked into the office of a very prominent bank president who happened to be single and gorgeous (I was on a fund-raising mission for a local charity) and we were instantly attracted to one another. One flirtation led to another and before I knew it, he invited me out to dinner that same evening. When the phone rang, I was thrilled and impressed with his eagerness. However, my euphoria was short-lived, when he asked me to meet him at the restaurant, which was quite a distance away.
I suggested he pick me up from my apartment. When he became insistent, claiming it would be seriously inconvenient for him to pick me up, I suggested we make it another time, when it would be more convenient. I explained in the softest manner I could muster, that I didn’t want to come home late alone. I explained the difficulty in finding a parking space in my neighborhood after dark. Finally, he agreed to come, but in a grumpy sort of way. When he showed up, it was obvious he felt put upon, but after a few minutes of my ever-present charm, he began to soften.
Over dinner, he explained that he hadn’t picked a woman up for a date since his college days, and he teased me about my need “to get with the program.” I laughed and tossed his saying back to him, but I knew in my heart of hearts that he held small potential for me, because he was too accustomed to getting his way with women. That point was proven two weeks later when he made a date with me and didn’t show up or call until the next day. For me, there can always be an excuse for not coming…but never for not calling. He gave some weak excuse about being stuck in a “meeting,” I told him bluntly that I was no longer interested in pursuing a friendship with him and that he should bless someone else with his presence.
The tone in his voice indicated he was suddenly fascinated with my insistence to be treated special by the opposite sex. He laughed and said I was his kinda woman. Of course, he ended up becoming an aggressive pursuer and very accommodating. One of the reasons why so many women go along for the “ride,” is because they feel that a ride is better than no ride, and you may not get picked up at all if you require too much.
I learned growing up that we really do teach people how to treat us, and if we don’t give them a roadmap, they can get caught up in their own translations. I watched one aunt, who was beautiful, be treated by men like a disposable rag, while another aunt, who was mildly attractive was treated like a princess. The difference was that one had more of a solid sense of self-worth than the other.