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Bonita’s Blog

To Be Easy To Love

by Bonita Bennett

Everyone wants to be loved.  However, I often hear from men and women who feel unloved and friendless, but feel it’s unfair for those around them to make a decision about them without getting to know them.  To be judged by an initial impression may not be fair, but in many instances, it is the only opportunity you’ll get to put your best foot forward.  Example:  Can you be perceived as friendly if you never smile or extend a warm greeting?

Did you also know that your friends or associates are an important part of your public image?  If your friends or the people you keep company with are silly, immature in action or perverted in manner, this is considered a part of your persona.  If you’re a good looking guy and you’re seen with a bunch of guys who laughed when an old man fell while crossing the street, even if you didn’t laugh, you would probably be viewed as a jerk.  Again, it may not be fair, but it’s a reality.  Whoever you “run with,” says a lot about you and your character.  Therefore, if you’re tolerating the presence of people who don’t share your same value system, it may be time to do some early spring cleaning. 

Do you usually think about what you say before you say it?  Did you know that what you say can make or break someone’s impression of you…forever?  One of my favorite examples of this is when a friend was standing in line at an exclusive restaurant one evening with a friend, waiting to be seated.  When his friend commented on a woman across the room is attractive, my friend responded by saying “Yeah, but she’s too fat! 

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to him, he was overheard by a woman standing behind him in line who happened to be very overweight and the head of a company where he was interviewing for a high paying position the next day.  By coincidence, his appointment was with her.  They had never met before.  But she remembered him and the incident immediately when he sat before her the next morning.  Of course, he didn’t get the job and she told him why.  He never forgot the lesson. 

The key thing to remember is that if you wish to be liked and accepted, you must project an aura of friendliness, openness and possess a polished tongue.  I have met so many people through the years whom I liked initially, but changed my mind after I got to know them.  Then there have been those whom I wasn’t really impressed with initially, who later stole my heart and gained my respect.

The important thing is to look at others the way God would have us do…with an open heart and a non-judgmental eye and this is best executed when you are certain that this is the way you want to be viewed.

Bonita Bennett, founder, publisher  Of Being Single Magazine and a former TV/radio personality, is the author of the books “How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams,”  and The Coming Of Dawn.  She is also a nationally recognized life coach/relationship expert and noted motivational speaker, whose life-changing counseling techniques, classes and innovative workshops on life-skills, inter-personal relationships, conflict management, and problem- solving are well-known in her field.  Bonita Bennett is also the editor-in-chief of Being Single Magazine.   Be sure to get your copy of her two books…Meanwhile, read the excerpts from the mystery novel…The Coming Of Dawn and How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams

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