Inside A Bachelor’s Diary

Inside A

Bachelor’s Diary

One Man’s Dilemma

October 30, 2018

It’s the week before my birthday and for the first time since my divorce, I’m faced with a crisis.  The one thing about being married is that you never have to be concerned about who you’re spending your birthday with.

Dana called and wanted to know what sort of gift I wanted.  I knew it was her subtle way of letting me know she expected to spend the day with me.  Later, Lisa called later to remind me that “we” were invited somewhere on that day ironically.  It kills me the way she refers to us, as if we’re married, or scheduled to be.

I’ve got myself in a fix, because I can’t make up my mind which one, if either, I want to be with.  At this moment, I’m seeing or dating (I’m not sure which word is appropriate after a lengthy philosophical discussion with my sister about the meaning of the word, “involved,”) two women.  This time last month, I was “involved” with three.

Elaine, however, was somewhat on the fringes because I didn’t see her that often.  She knew I wasn’t ready to be serious, and unlike the others, she never pressed me to be.  She seemed to understand or didn’t care that I was seeing other women.  She never appeared ruffed in the least, when my phone would ring endlessly in her presence..

However, she got very angry two weeks ago when I got my dates screwed up, and accidentally stood her up.  I didn’t realize what I’d done until I listened to my voicemail the next day. Unlike the others, though Elaine was the most exciting, she wouldn’t sleep with me.  Therefore, I was never pressed to spend time with her.

Lisa is the highly emotional one and the prettiest with a personality that can sometimes be a little brash.  However, she’s unpredictable and I like that about her.  Dana, on the other hand, is quiet, doting and mystically convinced, (though she’s never said it.) that I’m her future husband.  She is truly a “designing woman”, who is always planning “fun outings” to visit model homes and antique shops.  There is something about her that reminds me in a good way of my ex-wife.

I haven’t talked to Elaine since the incident.  She told me to never call her again.  I haven’t felt right since.  I deeply regret making her angry.  She’s a beautiful soul, and I miss her spirit in my orbit.

It’s odd, Elaine was the first woman since my divorce that I felt a strong attraction for.  Sometimes I felt like I was falling in love with her, but I wasn’t sure.  Right now, my head is muddled.  The good thing is that I have spoken no words that would indicate my commitment to anyone.  Despite expectations, I must remember I am a free agent.  I can go and come as I please.  I think I’ll call Elaine.  Maybe, inviting her to spend my birthday with me might repair the damage.