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Point Of View

Bitter Women= Battered Men

by Jake Housen

The other night after watching the game, a few of the fellows decided to grab something to eat. At dinner, the topic segued from basketball to women to complaining. One complaint was unanimous. The ideal woman was hard to find and a well-balanced woman is harder to find.  Through various encounters with a number of women, I’ve found most to be very bitter towards black men.  The reasons were varied, but those I met had a tale of self-inflicted woe.  Unfortunately, they didn’t see themselves as bitter.

My friend Maria is a good example.  She’s angry with a serious hostility toward men.  Her resentment, in general, has become a part of her character.  Her manner is often profane at best.  She doesn’t need a man, she says.  They’re just not worth the effort. Maria dated Joe for five years, who by her own admission told her repeatedly, that he was not interested in marriage or a monogamous commitment to one woman.  According to Maria, he dated other women openly and encouraged her to do the same.

 However, she did not do the same.  She was hopelessly bound because of her emotional tie and her desire to have what she wanted.  She became devoted to him and his program.  She grasped for the tender moments and held on for dear life.  She dedicated her existence to changing his mind through hope, devotion and drastic measures (fake pregnancies, etc.)   In the sixth year, Joe announced that he was marrying a woman he ‘d  only been dating three months.   Maria admitted to contemplating suicide and murder simultaneously.  She felt deceived and violated.  But was she?  No.

Maria knowingly practiced self-deception and became bitter as a result.  She was deceived by her own desires and tunnel vision.  Joe had told Maria often that he loved her, but love did not carry the same meaning for him as it did for her. To her, it meant emotional commitment in spite of his actions.  To him, it was a momentary expression of his feelings.  Joe was a free bird who functioned without restraint.  His behavior and attitude were sanctioned by her acceptance of it.  The impact of his marriage to another woman is still prevalent in Maria’s life eight years later.  She wears her resentment of all men on her sleeve.  Therefore, she emits bitterness from a self-inflicted wound.

Sadly, there are thousands of women like Maria who are bitter because of what they term as emotional abuse. This is not to say, that women are not being victimized in relationships by men.  Many are and are justified at least temporarily, in housing feelings of bitterness, because of deceptive practices that have actually taken place.  However, these same observations indicate that much of the bitterness shared by many women could be reduced if there were a more concentrated focus on seeing things as they really are and a discarding of the powerless approach often used by women in attempting to change a man, which is indeed a fruitless effort.

  1. Many women abuse men as well, especially watching these shows on TV which makes it very scary. Women have become much more dangerous and very bitter these days compared to the past when most women back then were very old fashioned and real ladies too. What in the world happened to the women of today?

  2. Women today have too much freedom yet take zero accountability for the poor decisions that they willingly make. Blame yourselves for chasing after useless men who have nothing to offer except robbing you of the best years of your life and leaving you mentally and financially broken as you enter your older years.

  3. Women today are just so very horrible to date altogether since most of these women have very high outrageous standards, and very high unrealistic expectations as well. Funny how most women back in the old days were very easy to meet, and real ladies as well. God forbid just saying good morning or hello to a woman that many of us men would like to meet, and there are times for no reason at all when we will get Cursed out by these women too. Now i can see why how very lucky and blessed our family members were when they found love with one another in those early days, when most women at that time were the very complete opposite of today with much better manners and a great personality too. And now most of these women really think they’re so very high and mighty, especially the ones that are making a six figure salary today. Wish i was born in the old days which meeting a good woman definitely would have been very easy, and many of us good single men would have been all settled down as well with a good wife and family that many of us unfortunately still don’t have today.

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