What To Do When …
by Lisa Cregier
Scenario: You’re at the party with your “honey” and he/she leaves you to talk to someone of the opposite sex. They are gone too long and your jealous button is pushed. You go over, ignore the person they’re talking to, and pull them away. You express your dislike in no uncertain terms and you cause a scene, or you simply stay where you are, sulk and say nothing.
WYSD: You don’t go over at all. When you’re out, you allow your partner all the room they need to be sociable with others, as long as they remain respectful. If they don’t, you don’t confront…you disappear which makes a far better statement than anything you could ever say.
Scenario: You have a date with someone who you sometimes enjoy, but you’re not necessarily fascinated. When the evening comes, you change your mind and decide there is something else you’d rather do or someone else you’d rather be with. You don’t call to cancel, because you can’t stand the drama, or you don’t feel like creating an excuse. You just don’t show up. You make up your mind to lie the next day.
WYSD: Be honest. Call the person and tell the truth without the details. If you decided you want to see someone else, regrettably apologize for the last-minute cancellation, and say that your plans have changed, and you’d like to make it another time. Remember, cowards lie and jerks just don’t show up. The worst thing to do is keep the date with your mind elsewhere, and cut the evening short when you can’t stand it any longer.
Scenario: You’re in a social setting, and you’ve been pulled over to be introduced to a man/woman who strikes you as unattractive. You don’t smile or look the person directly in the eye because you don’t the introduction as important. You nod and look away distractedly while shaking the person’s hand. You are not interested and it’s obvious to the person.
WYSD: Keep in mind that you’re being introduced to a person just like you. You should be gracious and not judge anyone by their appearance. You smile warmly repeating the person’s name for clarity, with genuine interest as you extend a handshake. You say with sincerity that you are pleased to have made the acquaintance, and you mean it. Think about how you’d feel if someone responded to you in the above manner…you would most likely be highly offended. Plus, you never know where you may meet up with that person again, and you may be in need, and they remember the slight.
Scenario: Someone you’re dating asks you to do something you really don’t want to do, i.e., an over-the-top favor or to borrow money. You lie, and claim you don’t have any money, or other obligations prevent you from doing the favor.
WYSD: If you don’t want to do the favor, say it…but with kindness, “that’s not something I like to do.” If you don’t want to loan money, say it. “I don’t like to loan money.” Remember those who are really honest are held in high regard and treated with respect.