The Singles Scene
by Sarah Smart
Q. I am currently dating a woman who works with me. I really like her and enjoy being with her. But, there is also another woman at work I’ve always admired but never approached. Recently, at an office party, she slipped me a note expressing her interest and her phone number. I am stumped as to what to do because this woman is exciting, to say the least. But I don’t want to hurt the feelings of the other woman. I am excited about the note and the potential of an encounter with this woman. What should I do? I certainly cannot date two women in the same office. And if I go out with this woman, the other woman is sure to find out and I don’t want to destroy what we have.
A. I suggest since you’re single, that you pursue the avenue that appeals to you the most, but you’re at risk of being miserable if you don’t and scarred if you do. As you said, you cannot date two women working in the same environment. Therefore, either you close one gate before you enter another, or stay where you are and just enjoy the view. Don’t let ego or curiosity dictate your moves, especially when you could suffer a loss. Remember, everything that glitters is not always gold. You may want to take a pass.
Q. A former boyfriend called to inform me that he was dating my best friend’s sister and he wanted me to hear it from him. We stopped dating two years ago and prior to the phone call, he was the farthest thing from my mind, but I was upset after I talked to him. When I got off the phone, I called my friend to condemn what her sister was doing. She disagreed and couldn’t understand my anger since I’m very much involved in another relationship. We ended up having words and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I think my friend played a role in hooking them up and I feel betrayed. Everyone I’ve spoken to about this thinks I’m crazy. What do you think?
A. I think your ego is blocking your good judgment. If things are over between you and your ex, why should you care about what he does? His phone call to you was admirable, most men wouldn’t have bothered. It seems you’re displaying a possessiveness about someone who shouldn’t qualify for such intensity. You also can’t worry about what you cannot change. Be mature and face the music because the tune will play with or without your permission.
Got a problem or a confession? We’ve got the answer. Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to firstname.lastname@example.org and put SingleScenes in the subject line.