The Singles Scene

by Sarah Smart

Q:  I’ve seen my girlfriend out twice with the same guy and each time I made myself hidden to avoid being seen. I don’t want to confront her because she had already mentioned her disdain for jealous men.  She is never at home anymore and always has an excuse for not returning my calls.  What do you think?  I love her and I can’t sleep at night.

A.  If you are losing sleep over this, then you must solve the mystery. Ask, don’t confront.  And if the answer is not suitable, then come to grips with what to do to attain inner peace.  He could be a close friend.  Don’t assume until there’s a reason and don’t be intimidated by her “disdain.”  Remember, your feelings are more important, and your suspicions could be true.  But frankly, when the feelings are mutual, phone calls are returned, and excuses are invisible

Q.  Two years ago I caught my best friend and my boyfriend in bed. I have since forgiven him and we are back together.  I believe she seduced him out of jealousy and he was just weak.  Therefore, I have not spoken to her since.  I can’t forgive her and I don’t want to.  I feel like she violated me more than he did.  She called me recently and asked me to forgive her and I couldn’t.  My sister thinks I’m nuts.  What do you say?

A.  I say how can you forgive him and not her? They were both equally guilty.  If you forgave one, you should forgive the other.  I find it interesting that you are back involved with him.  Obviously, you were equally violated by both.  She’s not your enemy, your ego is.  Maybe your sister is right.  Your perspective  is way off.  What’s to stop him from getting “weak” again?

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.