The Love Con – Costly Choices

The Love Con:

Costly Choices

by M. K. Allison

A former college classmate who is a very successful lawyer called to ask my advice about marrying a guy “with serious potential” who showed up drunk at their engagement party and is chronically unemployed.

Needless to say, she didn’t take my advice, which was to dump him.  But her story reminded me of all the different stories I’ve heard this year about some of the ridiculous choices women have made in the glorified name of love. 

The following are some poignant examples of how far some women will go to be married or joined emotionally to the opposite sex… I’m talking smart, educated women who are attractive, but very vulnerable to “The Love Con.”  Judge for yourself.  The names have been changed (naturally) and these are all true stories.

.Joan was a real estate developer with property everywhere.  She was determined to be married by the age of 40.  Therefore, when she turned 39 and met a man who was “between jobs,” handsome and very interested in her, she literally took him in.  She dressed him up, bought him a car, and moved him into her 10-room condominium.  Six months later, she did a prenup, married him, and put him in her bank account.  Two months later, she came home from an overnight business trip and he had moved out.   He took all the furniture from one of her five bedrooms and didn’t leave a note.  She later found out that they weren’t legally married because he was still married to another woman in another city.

Alisa was a successful architect who was dating a computer analyst with a violent temper.  She was totally intimidated by him, yet she continued on in the relationship against the advice of family and friends.  She claimed she loved him and she knew he loved her.  When he slapped her one night in front of all her friends and family at her birthday party, because she was talking to another man, she refused to press charges.  Three months later, she married him and eight months later, he stabbed her brother before her eyes when he tried to shield her from his blows.  Her brother survived but the relationship didn’t.

Maggie, a criminal attorney, began dating her client while representing him, and after he was sentenced to prison for murder, she married him in prison.  He was sentenced to 20 years for killing his ex-girlfriend with a knife.

Colleen, an accomplished surgeon, met a man who was just starting up his business.  He was very charming and she was very impressed.  He claimed he didn’t have any money because he had sunk everything into his new business venture.  But with Colleen, he didn’t have to have money, because she felt his company “was worth whatever it costs.”  They took long trips at her expense and she bought him many expensive gifts.  A year later, they were married in Mexico.  However, when they arrived back home, he told her that he had changed his mind about marriage and refused to move in with her.  The marriage was eventually annulled and Colleen admitted to friends later the marriage was never consummated.

Sara, a schoolteacher, married a man whom she knew had a drug problem because she thought that with her loving support and a stable home environment, she could help him overcome his problems.  A year after they were married, he depleted their bank account, stole money from her on too many occasions, and sold her car to a drug dealer for drugs.  Finally, she divorced him after he threatened her physically. 

Unfortunately, these stories are not isolated incidents.  These kinds of choices are becoming too common among women in today’s world who are desperate to experience the ecstasy of being in love, and too often to their detriment.