The Singles Scene
Love & Its Expectations
by Cheryl Lakes
Several singles and married people were asked to finish the sentence, “When I Fell In Love, I Never Expected…”
“…to walk down the aisle after knowing her for only six weeks.” Bill
“…that she would turn out to be such a loser.” Larry
“…that there would be so much deceitfulness, disloyalty, agony, and so many
“…that things would change so drastically, and that my life would change. I was amazed at how I stopped thinking about myself and started thinking about someone else all the time. I feel a lot happier, like walking on a cloud. Everything I do is better. I even work better. My outlook on life is better.” Ed
“…that it would be with him, who started out as my friend. We’re getting married in the Fall.” Kari
“…that I’d be stuck wondering why it ended.” Beth
“…things to stay so sweet for so long! It’s been twelve years.” Vanda
“…her to stop caring how she looks, when she used to keep herself up. Now her hair and nails look a mess and she doesn’t seem to care about the extra pounds – even when I hint that she needs to do something about it!” Maurice
“…that after we got married, we would stop kissing the way we used to when we were dating.” Priscilla
“…him to find the television to be more exciting than me!” Catherine
“…to wake up one morning to find love gone and not have a clue as to where it went.” Jeanne
“…to be devastated by love.” Christy
“…to feel so much pain from the loss of it.” Karen
“…to feel a ‘rush’ every time she enters the room, or feel like things aren’t quite right unless she’s somewhere near.” Steven
“…I’d wind up falling in love with someone of another race, and then kick myself for not being able to let her know.” Mark
“…love to cause so much pain and frustration.” Kate
“…that being in love could make me feel so complete and at the same time – so vulnerable!” Andre
Everyone has an innate need to love and be loved. Whether we go into a relationship expecting to give and to receive love or not…there is ultimately the expectation that something good will come out of it.
Expectations set too high can also lead to shattering results; as they oftentimes carry us up and away to the loftiest places…and then suddenly let us go, to plummet all the way down onto the sharp rocks of reality. Sometimes we’re so severely injured, we fear harboring any positive expectations (especially as they relate to love and romance) for months, sometimes even years.
Occasionally some of us pick ourselves up, agonize for a little while over our emotional cuts and bruises, and then move right along with the thought: That was painful, but I’m smarter now and things never stay the same. I’ll be okay.