Dating Data: “7 Things I’ll Never Do Again”

Dating Data

“7 Things I’ll

Never Do Again”…

by M.K. Allison

Ignore that inner voice.  Listen to your first mind and follow it.  This year, I could have saved myself a lot of grief and heartache, if I heeded that inner voice, which is always pure and practical.  I stayed in and out of trouble because that voice was mostly overruled by my desire, which was governed by bad judgment and impatience.  I dated one guy for five months, who I should never have gone out with in the first place.  I didn’t heed the signs. I finally got the message when he showed up for a date with another woman in the car, and asked if I were into threesomes.

Tell anyone…everything. From now on, I will be more selective about who I “share” what with.   In a customary state of “boyfriend blues”, I told two close friends of an incident where I caught “my guy ” out with another woman and they both shared it with others in our inner circle.

Be A Girlfriend.   There is too much aggravation and uncertainty in the role of the girlfriend.  I now choose the word “friend.”  It’s ambiguous and safe.  When you’re a “girlfriend” you never really know where you stand, and you’re too quick to feel threatened or challenged by the thought of another woman when you have no real commitment.  Marriage is the real commitment in a relationship, and. I know of many “committed” relationships that existed on the “you’re my woman” level that disintegrated into the sand because there was no real bond.  I’ve had two “boyfriends” this year and I ended up spending my birthday alone.   The word “friend” helps me manage my expectations.

Sleep my circle.  I’ve spent too much time and energy with people who shouldn’t have been permitted to enter my world.  Men and women with proven actions of pettiness, disrespect, and betrayal weaved their way into my life, and on many occasions, I ran out to meet them.  I put my sacred thoughts and feelings into callous hands, and as expected, when you put on your best to wear to an unforeseen mud fight, you get splattered big-time.

Fake date. I will not continue to date a guy who I know I’m not interested in.  In the past, I’ve spent too much time trying to make something work with a couple of guys who were good catches by common standards but had no sex appeal.  It was unfair to them and a total waste of my time.  I tried to make it work because they were dependable, kind, and considerate (all the traits I’ve been praying for).  But I also want someone who knocks me off my feet when they walk into the room..

Be inauthentic. I will strive to be more verbally mature, affectionate, and friendly.  I will tell everyone who enters my world, what I like or dislike and lose all semblance of attitude and replace it with love.  I will not sulk or pain in silence.  I will give compliments.  I will remember names… I will smile at strangers…I will speak in elevators.  I will shine.

Create excuses.  I will not rationalize a guy’s words or behavior.  From now on, I will call it what it looks like.  When a man acts like he’s confused about me, I will assume he is.  I won’t try to rationalize that there is some sociological or psychological reason why he doesn’t call more often.  I will call a spade a shovel and not make excuses for bad treatment.