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12 Smart Tips On
“Dating Well”

by Jovan Tahale

Whenever I use the term, “dating well,” in reference to myself, my friend Elayne always corrects my usage, with her definition of the term.  She defines the term to mean that one has made the decision to only date guys who have money, status, and good looks.  For me, the term means to date a classy guy under the best conditions and most favorable circumstances.

I know too many singles who jump onto the dating scene without a clue of what they’re doing.  Therefore, I’d like to offer some tips to those who wish to understand the necessities of dating well and have less headache and aggravation in their chosen relationships. Those who are committed to “dating well” know the following…

  1. While in the company of a man or woman, (meaning the person standing by your side) and you encounter an acquaintance, you should always introduce that person. This act of courtesy keeps the companion from feeling left out, awkward, or overlooked.  It also succeeds in making that person feel regarded as a person.  This is a deal-breaker for me.  If I’m out with a guy who doesn’t introduce me when he greets others, it’s our last date and I usually tell him why.  I also do not accept the excuse that they couldn’t remember the person’s name.

 

‚      2. Keep in mind that you are revered or avoided by what comes out of your mouth.  In dating, choose what you say carefully and accept only the best from whoever you’re dating.  Make sure your words are quality, sensitive, intelligent, tasteful, respectful, and honorable…and be sure that your date/mate reciprocates with what comes out of his/her mouth.

‚      3. A woman should never invite herself over to a man’s home.  A woman of quality waits for an invitation.  A friend was crushed recently when she insisted on going over a guy’s house after an evening of fun, and he told her bluntly that she would have more fun if she waited to be invited.  He claimed he was tired and just wanted to go home to go to bed.   He eventually stopped calling her, and when she questioned him about it, he said she was too pushy.

‚      4. Never go out again on a second date with anyone who was critical, judgmental, or condemning of you on the first date.

‚      5. Never chastise or scold the children of your date. Those who date well either mind their own business or make soft suggestions about corrective behavior if asked to do so.

‚      6. If you don’t want to answer a question for any reason, say…”I don’t wish to answer that question?” Never sacrifice your comfort level to satisfy someone else’s curiosity or demands.

‚      7. People, who date well, never agree to go anywhere or do anything they really don’t want to do.  They don’t surpass their gut feelings or principles to please others.  They are quick to express their true feelings. They never dance or move to the tune of someone else’s music, unless they enjoy the beat.

‚       8. Never assume something you heard or witnessed is true, or let it consume your thoughts…or influence your actions.  Hold out for the facts before reaching a conclusion in any matter.  This is a common occurrence on the dating scene because many singles are paranoid about ending up with the wrong person.  Those who date well are prone to be fair-minded.

‚       9. Don’t brag about your accomplishments, achievements, or honors, unless you’re filling out an application or doing a resume.  Humility is very attractive.  Let others discover how great you are naturally.  Also, never pretend to be where you are not on the social ladder.  If you are on a high rung, there’s no need to mention it.  Success and social standing speak for itself.

‚     10. Never spend your time, energy, or money on someone who does not make you feel special and important to them.  Doing so does not guarantee admiration or acceptance.

  1. Your past, personal, and romantic history should only be revealed after the engagement…if then.  Some things are best kept.   This information is only pertinent when deemed as such by the “confessing” party.  One must reserve private secure data for worthy and qualified ears only and even then, there should be a limit to how far you will go in disclosing.

  12.  Never allow someone to cross your pain threshold without expressing the act of trespass. If you don’t like something that was said or done by the person you’re dating, be sure to express it at the time of the infraction, but do it stylishly.  It will have more impact.

 

 

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