How Clean Are You?

Bonita’s Blog

How Clean

Are You?

by Bonita Bennett

I have a favorite cousin whose looks and charisma are so striking that whenever he walks into a room, the men and women both turn their heads to stare.  By most, he is considered a player’s player, who has women of all shapes and sizes hanging off the rafters with baited breath for their moment to be chosen.  And it seems that he has tried to accommodate as many who struck his fancy.  However, as I watched him navigate his way through various social functions, I always held the thought that he was searching for something, and that he knew what he was looking for.

I’ve never seen him with a woman who could be described as anything other than gorgeous or beautiful.   Therefore, I was shocked when he invited me to dinner to announce that he was getting married, (for the first time at the age of 41) and to meet his intended.  To my surprise, she was not of the usual movie star genre he was noted for, though she was attractive.  However, she had a magnetic quality that drew you in to indulge the essence of her personality.  In other words, she was refreshing.  She was spirited, gracious and very self-assured.

When I spoke with him the next day, I was curious how he came about his choice with so many to choose from.  With a tinge of excitement in his voice, he explained that she had the one thing that he had always searched for in a woman, but could never find…a clean spirit.  He went on to expound on how his quest for a woman with an untainted consciousness had ended abruptly when he met her in the local supermarket..

Later, I thought about the power of his statement, and I began to reflect on my own circle of souls, in search of those who could qualify for such a label.  However, it soon became apparent that I had to first consider the characteristics of an “unclean spirit” and I came to these conclusions…to name a few.

An “unclean spirit” is one who is prone to lie, hold grudges, criticize easily, and possesses a tongue that speaks both blessings and cursings.  This person could have one or more of the following traits.  He/she can be cynical, unforgiving, a flaw finder, bitter from past experiences, judgmental, manipulative, disloyal and prone to pessimism.

A clean spirit on the other hand, has an open heart and mind, is confident of what he/she brings to the table, and walks the talk, while seeking the good in others.  This person usually has a controlled tongue, clear motives, pure thoughts, a loyal disposition, a kind and forgiving spirit, a bad memory, real integrity and no interest in negative discussions.  They trust until given cause not to…and love until it fails.  They view the world from a silk cushion, regardless of what they can afford, and see it as a place of wonder and opportunity, regardless of their experiences.  They hope for the best, give the benefit of the doubt and hold no grudges.  They are also genuine, trustworthy, frank and unconstrained.  Through my assessment however, I discovered that I could only apply this label to a few deserving souls in my realm.

The problem is that most of society is more consumed with all things pleasurable, suitable attention from a desired source, and the superficial aspects of life, which includes fine cars, fine clothes and good financial standing.  Though some of these things are worthy pursuits, we all should be more concerned with what’s in our hearts and consider submitting ourselves to a “washing of our souls” if need be, to bring about a cleansing of our spirits, that could successfully annihilate the debris of our pasts, which some of us carry around in a “heart sack” until we leave here.  Because our experiences help shape who we become, this effort could give rise to a new personal standard of excellence and expectancy for good in one’s life.

However, a real change in spirit or attitude is not possible without first surrendering one’s self to the Creator and His plan.  For only through Him can one hope to become decontaminated from an unclean mentality, which denotes a soiled existence that cannot be disguised by the glittering image of the outer portrait.   In other words, clothes don’t make the man…and neither does beauty.

Bonita Bennett, founder, publisher  Of Being Single Magazine and a former TV/radio personality, is the author of  the books “How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams,”  and The Coming Of Dawn.  She is also a nationally recognized life coach/relationship expert, and noted motivational speaker, whose life-changing counseling techniques, classes and innovative workshops on life-skills, inter-personal relationships, conflict management, and problem solving are well-known in her field.  Bonita Bennett is also the editor-in-chief of Being Single Magazine.   Be sure to get your copy of  her two books…Meanwhile, read the  excerpts from the mystery novel…The Coming Of Dawn and How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams