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Is Your Romance
In A Rut?

by Dani Stone

Picture your current relationship.  Is it 70% of what you’d want it to be?  No relationship is 100%, but it is reasonable for one to expect 2/3 of what is desired to be present when the heart is given free rein over the head.

Are you happy or complacent?  Is he/she meeting those needs that are necessary to your spiritual well-being?  Can you talk?  Does he/she listen?  Does he/she really care?

Take some time and analyze your situation.  Is your current relationship good for you or do you feel burdened most of the time?  You want it…yet you’re not sure.  Sometimes we stay with the old because we are afraid to experiment with the new.  You can’t tell if the grass is greener if you never take a look over the fence.

Too many people are sitting in relationships where frustration and disappointment lay as a foundation.  Few have the guts to seek more in the face of another when they’re dissatisfied, and others have their heads in a cloud.   Examples:

Danielle has been involved for over seven months with a man whom she sees twice a month.  He visits her.  She visits him.  But they never go out.  Their activities together are limited between the two residences.  He doesn’t like to go out and spend money on entertainment.  Danielle wants more, but she also wants to appear in “love.”  She enjoys being able to say, “my honey said this or my honey said that,”  around her friends.  She feels like having a man validates her as a woman.  So she pretends to be content, though she’s miserable.

Anna sees John once a week.  After work, he can never be reached directly by phone.  He is elusive, mysterious, and basically unavailable.  Though distressed by his actions, Anna makes excuses for his behavior.  She tells others that he’s afraid to become serious because of a bad divorce.  She believes she is one of many, but she pretends otherwise.  She hopes that one day, he’ll suddenly come to his senses and realize who’s the best woman for him.  She spends a lot of time waiting on his call.

Cheryl continues to pursue a relationship with a guy she knows only sees her when he has nothing else better to do.  She’s unhappy, but to her, a little bit of his time is better than being alone.

Yvonne’s boyfriend lives with another woman.  Yvonne rationalizes that if he didn’t like her, he wouldn’t spend time with her.  She feels that through dynamic sex and other “gifts” one day he’ll leave his live-in girlfriend for her, and they can live happily ever after.

Jan lacks self-confidence and seems to gravitate toward domineering men.  She’s involved with a guy who embarrasses her often in public and treats her like crap.  She wishes for something better, but she doesn’t have the guts to better her condition.  She fears being alone, and she’ll accept any kind of treatment to avoid it.

These women exist in relationship ruts.  They’re miserable, but they rationalize their presence in their current situation, because of low self-esteem.  Hopefully, you’re not in a similar predicament.

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