No Shows – Runaway Grooms

No-Shows

We Talked To

5 Runaway Grooms  

by Jan Pitts

January 9, 2019

Each year, men all over the country (and the numbers are growing) make promises they don’t keep by leaving women in white stranded at the altar in an embarrassed state.

When I discussed this “trend” with a male colleague, he gave the very adamant opinion that few women are shocked when this happens, because the groom-to-be usually shows some sign that he is backing up way before the wedding day, and after I interviewed a few “guilty parties,” I realized that there could be some validity to his opinion.

Last year, after a cousin failed to show at an elaborately planned garden wedding that his bride’s parents had spent a fortune on, and a friend’s sister had a similar experience where her intended showed up, but left before the ceremony began,  I decided to go in search of men who had made the ultimate pledge and had broken it. I heard of one woman who stood at the church for hours hoping her “groom” would somehow appear unscratched from an imagined auto accident, while another friend’s sister actually called the police and reported her fiancé missing, when he didn’t show.

I found five men who were willing to speak under the veil of anonymity to reveal the reasons why they opted to not show for their wedding.  I began with my cousin.  Of course, the names have been changed.

“Brad” – “I tossed all night the day before the wedding, because I realized I was making a mistake.  I called my fiancée at 3:00 am and told her I changed my mind, because I realized I still loved my ex-wife.  But she talked me out of it.  However, the next day, I just couldn’t bring myself to go through with it.  When I called to tell her, she demanded I show up, because I owed her.  But I got on the highway and drove in the opposite direction instead.  She was more concerned about being embarrassed than being happily married.  I haven’t spoken to her since.”

“Jim” – “I just got scared on the day of the wedding, and I didn’t know how to tell her.  Getting married had really been her idea, and I had gone along because I had never been married and I thought it was time.  But when I realized I had no passion for her, I knew I couldn’t live with her.  I am not proud of my actions, because I caused her some considerable pain.  But I’m still glad we didn’t go through with it.”

“Kent” – “The night before my wedding, I saw a personality flip on my fiancée that made me aware that I would be making a serious mistake if I married her.  We had a big argument where all her true colors came out.  She called me names I never heard in the alley, and when I told her I wasn’t coming to the church the next day, she said she’d be there anyway.  And she was…and I wasn’t.  To this day I don’t regret my decision.”

“David” – “I didn’t show up at the church because I decided that day that I wasn’t going to go through it for the sake of her, her family, my family or any embarrassment that might occur.  I realized I was making a mistake when I overheard her talking on the phone to a girlfriend about how it was all about the money for her.  When I tried to tell her that morning that the wedding was off, she started crying and slammed the phone down.  I was shocked when I heard that she showed up at the church anyway.”

“Quincy” – “I didn’t show up at City Hall because I had spent the previous night with an ex-girlfriend, and I realized that I was not ready to be a husband.  I had all intentions of going through with it, but my heart wasn’t in it.  I knew I wasn’t in love, but I felt compelled because we had been together a long time, and I knew she felt I owed her a ring because we had two children.  On the day of the wedding, I couldn’t face her, and I took the coward’s way out.  I cut my phone off, and sent my brother to tell her I wasn’t coming.”