Single Sketches – Men: On The Issue Of Divorce

Single Sketches

Men: On The

Issue Of Divorce

by Coco Diong

I think most women believe that men fare better after a divorce than we do.  However, many do not cope as well as women think they do when a marriage fails.  According to the following comments, some men are traumatized emotionally and scarred for a time. Most of the men interviewed for this article seemed to not be able to grasp what really went wrong in their marriages.  Many admitted to not knowing how to express love or cherish their wives when they had them.

 John – 38 – “You have a lovely family, great kids, and a wife whom you think loves you no matter what you do and a lovely home.  Then suddenly, you’re left with nothing.  When my wife first left me, I couldn’t talk to my kids or my buddies on the phone without crying.  I realized too late that I took her for granted, and she got fed up with my behavior.”

Mark – 36 – “There are those who assume because you are a divorced man you couldn’t have loved your children, but my kids were the reason I hung in as long as I did.  I was miserable there with my kids and am miserable now without them.  I realized too late that I married a woman I didn’t love, and the kids ended up suffering for it.”

Don – 33 – “When divorce papers arrived unexpectedly at my office, I had to move in with an old friend from the Army.  I didn’t miss my home until I didn’t have it anymore.  Suddenly, all the things that got on my nerves at home seemed utopia-like.  I felt like my arms had been cut off and I had to learn to live without them.  But now I’ve come to a place where I cherish my freedom, but it wasn’t easy getting here.”

Curt – 34 – “When my wife and I split up, she left me for another man.   I felt like a failure and always found myself wondering what was wrong with me.  After that, no matter how well a woman treated me, I could never trust her.  I felt betrayed by someone I’d entrusted my heart to.  It took me a long time to overcome the fear of trusting again.”

Ed – 43 – “When my wife divorced me, I felt like my manhood had been stripped.  I’ve never felt so empty in my life.  I didn’t really notice my wife until she wasn’t there anymore.  I was married twenty years and never bought my wife one gift.”

Joe – 41 – “On the day my divorce was granted, I was on a Caribbean island with a woman I had been seeing before my wife and I broke up.  When I called home and got the news, I became so upset that I had to leave the island that night.  Suddenly, I didn’t feel like the same person anymore.  Half of me was gone.  It was something about the divorce that made me feel like a loser.  I broke up with the woman I’d been seeing for years and pursued my wife until she consented to marry me again…and I appreciate a second chance.”

Sam – 38 – “When I left home, I discovered what loneliness meant.  I experienced depression and anxiety after initiating the divorce.  I had taken my home for granted, and the loss that I eventually felt could not be fixed by anyone else I encountered.  It took me two years to get over something that felt like a travesty. Because of what I went through I don’t think I’ll ever marry again.”