Point Of View
“Women Don’t Know
What They Want!”
By Carl Leland
In my work, I talk to women frequently, who complain about the shortage of good black men. However, I am personally aware of a number of good guys who are single and interested in marriage, but they have the hardest time getting to first base with the women who interest them. Ironically, these are the same women who are fervently looking for husbands in every crook and cranny of the road, who seldom fit the standards they are in search of. Take my friend Jim for instance:
He’s in his mid-thirties, with an active career in aviation and earning a good salary. He has never been married and is very anxious to be. Unfortunately, most women who interest him will not give him a second look. They see him as undesirable due to his carriage. He is sort of homespun but obviously steady. Unfortunately, he lacks the flair and pizzazz of Joe Slick. He’s a gentleman who respects women, yet he gets few points for this. He has no street persona. He’s just a nice guy in search of the right woman.
Jim and others like him are good honest church-going guys who are not glib or slickered by the streets, but women pass over them because they lack the style and cockiness of the “the drama dude.” These guys are rarely given the chance to display their good points because of a mild demeanor that could very well belie a hidden treasure. I find it sad that there are a great number of guys out there who are ignored and disregarded because of superficial values that exist among the hordes of confused women, who claim to be in search of a good man.
Few women appear to have a real interest in stopping to take a good look at a man who seems to be clean-cut and above board. The Jims of this world are often serious, committed, and accommodating, but they offer no challenge…or better still no mystery.
However, with a little coaching and some tender interest, Jim and his group, if given a sincere opportunity, could possibly get in the running and stay. These guys have a tendency to try harder because of the obstacles already met. Most are not tainted by the socialization of the streets and these are the ones women claim to want. Someone needs to take a second look because the discovery of one of these guys could well be an answer to many prayers.