SingleScenes

I like a guy in my office who stares but never says a word. How can I approach him?

by Sarah Smart

January 7, 2019

Q.  I work with two guys who sit across from each other. One is all over me every time I pass his desk, and the other one just stares at me with hooded interest and then turns away when I catch his eye.  The one who flirts with me does not interest me.  I like the one who never opens his mouth.  I’ve tried flirting with him, but he pretends he doesn’t get it.  I believe, through my womanly instincts, that he likes me too, but is deferring to his friend through some sort of “male code of ethics.”  My friends say I should slip him a note and invite him to meet me for drinks..  What do you say?

A.  I say…what do you have to lose? Just be sure your ego can stand rejection, should that not be the case.  He may or may not be interested.  However, you must be careful not to be too aggressive. Some men still like to do the pursuing.  Make sure your note is creative and funny.  Just remember, when you make “big girl” moves, you must have a “big girl” ego.

Q. A close friend has been dating a guy for about six months that I am extremely attracted to and it’s driving me crazy. I met him last month for the first time and it was instant fire between us.  Our eyes lingered on each other the entire evening like a magnet. The next day I ran into him at the bank and he invited me for coffee and I went.  I went out with him accompanied by all the guilt feelings in the world, because I truly love my friend.  But this man is truly something and I don’t know what to do.  He’s asked to see me again and I find him irresistible.  My friend really thinks she’s in love and I cannot continue to listen to her talk of him and date him on the sly.  What should I do?  It’s been a long time since I felt like this about anybody.

A.  The answer is simple. You have a choice.  Decide which person is the most important to you.  The unscrupulous character with the piercing eyes or the friend who you claim you love.  Then go with that person. One of the most important things in life is to be able to live with one’s self.  Nothing can browbeat you more than your own conscience.  The real question is, which one can you do without?

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.